• Liminal Space

    Wednesday and Thursday in Minneapolis were a liminal space. Tuesday was in the low 90s and sunny. I welcomed my book group into our air-conditioned house instead of the baking patio, and I served lemonade pie, a frozen confection which suited summer’s last gasp.

    During the night cool air crept in. No storm signaled it, but Wednesday dawned in the low 60s. The overcast day felt like a pause. A chance for our bodies to sit with the transition. Acknowledge and accept it. We were no longer part of the humid blanket of summer but not yet into the cool sunny days of fall.

    So often we forget that we’re more than walking brains. We tend to ignore our animal nature. But some deep instinct responds to the season’s change–the later sunrises and earlier sunsets. The coming cold and darkness of winter. Beyond the sudden urge for apples instead of peaches and soups instead of salads is the emotional shift many of us feel. An awareness that feels metaphorical as well as physical.

    Some are sad that summer’s over and won’t return for nine months. Others are relieved and energized by the sense of a new beginning–it’s a new season and time for new habits, new possibilities. This year, have seemed unsettled by the season’s abrupt change. I’ve sensed an undercurrent of unnamed emotions.

    Today is sunny and in the mid-70s. Those underlying instincts are forgotten. Dissipated like the heavy cloud cover that pinned us in place on Wednesday and Thursday. Many have returned to being busy walking brains. But our bodies remember.

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    15 responses to “Liminal Space”

    1. Karen Martha Avatar

      I share the feeling of becoming one with the seasons–at least for a time. It feels too fast, the shift, right now. September is always good for delivering a weather surprise. It all feels like back-to-school for me. I remember hanging out the window in my 7th grade science classroom–back in the days when you could hand out school windows–watching and smelling the leaves turning. Thanks for this lovely piece.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        I can picture hanging out the school window and that particular scent of leaves!

    2. Sally Showalter Avatar
      Sally Showalter

      Depending on where one lives, summer can hold a different meaning. I love autumn, no matter where I lived and still do. Summers are far shorter up north and know they are valued. Tell me the view is from your yard? Incredible! Thank you Ellen for this reminder of summer.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thank you for reading! Now we’re on the beautiful part of fall–clear sunny days in the 70s. I grow a lot of flowers so the hydrangeas are in full bloom — big white cones with pink edges. My zinnias — red, peach, orange, and hot pink are still blooming. Pink, yellow and white snapdragons are slowing down. Hot pink impatiens and fuchsia are going strong. Basil is looking tired and will become pesto soon. What part of the world do you live?

        1. writers70pocket Avatar

          Having been born and raised in Illinois, I know how long flowers can bloom. . I have been in Tucson since the late 70’s, and it is a hard stretch over summer here to keep certain plants alive. I am not a cactus person. We are on our last stretch of heat this week, therefore, pots and plants will soon be back in my yard and can do very well throughout the winter. Foxgloves and hollyhocks are favs and they just don’t work with me here. I can see from your view, they would!

        2. Ellen Shriner Avatar

          I’ve visited Tucson often and landscaping takes on a whole new meaning! I’m glad you’re about to get some relief from the heat–really hardcore this year.

    3. Grand Ciel Design Co. Avatar

      This how time feels in the body. You mentioned soup. It’s serendipitous because I made a soup recipe you gave me years ago that remains a favorite, a comfort food.

      It’s also a fleeting time. I’m already seeing birds flock which means they will be leaving soon.

      Thank you for putting into words what I had been feeling all week. Beautifully said like a sunset.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        A lot of these signs feel subtle, some mire noticeable.

    4. Luanne Avatar

      Ellen, this is a beautiful meditation on this liminal period. Living in Arizona, I CAN’T WAIT FOR FALL. Sorry for shouting. Not really. I can’t take this heat any more!!! It’s really ruining every day and bad for my health. OK, I’m done venting. Happy fall to you!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        I hear you! From what I’ve read, Arizona has had a HELLacious summer. Cooler weather will be a blessing for you!

        1. Luanne Avatar

          Yes, just horrific

    5. Ellen Shriner Avatar

      I know! Suddenly Weds I had to find long sleeve shirts and pull out jeans.

    6. Eliza Waters Avatar

      So true… I feel the seasonal changes, but none so much as the turn to autumn. I always feel the urge to migrate… perhaps as my ancestors once did?

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        True–autumn affects me more than spring, but I feel both. Who knows what urge to migrate is encoded in you?

    7. Bev Bachel Avatar
      Bev Bachel

      I got caught by the cool night air…woke up freezing and had to go in hunt of a sweatshirt. Trying to pay more attention to the outside world during these becoming-fall days which bring so much colorful change.

  • Five Simple Ethics Lessons from NYT’s Kwame Anthony Appiah

    “Advice on life’s trickiest situations and moral dilemmas.”

    That’s the promise made by New York Times’ ethicist Kwame Anthony Appiah. I have found his columns immeasurably interesting and packed with ethical dilemmas ranging from “what do I do now that I’ve hidden my trust fund from my wife for 15 years” to “can people claim spots on the beach with empty chairs” to “does my fiancée love me or does he just want citizenship?”

    Thanks to Appiah, I’m becoming wise enough to know that while my advice to others is well-intentioned, it may not always be helpful or even all that ethical. Here are five lessons I’ve learned by reading his columns:

    Lesson #1: There are no one-size-fits-all solutions
    Ethical dilemmas are rarely black and white. What’s right in one situation may not be in another. The columns remind me that ethics is a nuanced field, one with shades of grey. Solutions must be tailored to individual circumstances. Doing so prevents us from adopting a rigid moral framework and encourages us to consider the context and consequences before making decisions.

    Lesson #2: Empathy is key
    By putting myself in the shoes of those affected by my choices, I develop a deeper, more nuanced understanding of how my choices impact others. This helps me recognize the interconnectedness of human experiences, encouraging me to consider not just my immediate interests, but also the well-being of others who may be impacted by my decisions.

    Lesson #3: Balance principles with real-world constraints
    The Ethicist columns show that while our ethical values are important, so is our ability to compromise.

    Lesson #4: Seek guidance and diverse perspectives
    Reading, discussing options and seeking feedback from can expand our understanding and help us see things we might otherwise miss.

    Lesson #5 Continually learn and adapt
    Ethical thinking is not static; it evolves over time as societal norms change and our understanding of complex issues deepens. It also changes as we age. That’s one reason the Ethicist columns underscore the importance of continuous learning and adaptation based on current events and ongoing self-reflection.

    The NYT’s Ethicist columns serve as a guiding light for me. Perhaps they will for you as well.

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    2 responses to “Five Simple Ethics Lessons from NYT’s Kwame Anthony Appiah”

    1. Ann Coleman Avatar

      I’ve never read his columns, but I certainly agree with the lessons in them. Thanks for sharing!

    2. Ellen Shriner Avatar

      Thanks for recommending this author and sharing some useful takeaways. The 5th one resonated the most with me.

  • What’s Your Approach?

    Earlier this month, I celebrated the 8th anniversary of my retirement at 61. Occasionally, I have floundered, but I’m happy with the shape it’s taken. Many of my friends are retired or nearing it, and I’ve observed a range of philosophies:

    Nonretirement – For several writers and artists I know, retirement looks like slowing down, not quitting. They have fewer paid jobs but they’re still working. Or they have a big project underway which might be published or shown later. 

    No schedule, no plans – Some people prefer the freedom to choose their activities day by day. For years they were yoked to a commute and an office. They feel they’ve paid their dues and earned the right to do whatever appeals to them on any given day. They hate the idea being locked into a schedule and resist planning too far ahead. I’ve noticed more men choosing this style.

    A bit of structure – These retirees prefer several days of planned activities but want lots of free time, too. Their schedule might include workouts or sports, socializing with friends, and weekly volunteer gigs. They also value unscheduled time and are careful not to pile too many events into one day. This approach often appeals to women. I belong to this camp.

    Always busy – This group is eager to do everything. All the time. For as long as possible. While the first three groups like to travel, these retirees travel even more. They’re adventuresome and willing to try whatever looks fun, which could be a class, a biking/hiking/kayaking group, a tour or whatever. They’re an enthusiastic bunch and want to be sure they do it all before time runs out.

    Aimless – Some people struggle with retirement because they miss the structure work provided (even though they resented the job at times). They don’t know what to do with themselves. With so much free time, their days can feel empty. They have trouble getting projects accomplished because there’s always tomorrow.

    Not loving it – Some retirees really don’t like retirement. Often, they are accomplished people who were well-respected in their field. Work provided focus and was integral to their identity. Retirement feels like a loss. The activities they try are pleasant but feel like make-work—time-fillers. They want their pursuits to be meaningful and have purpose, but they haven’t found fulfilling interests yet.

    Combo – A person new to retirement may sample several approaches before finding a satisfying mix. Shifting away from paid work can be as confusing and life-changing as starting a career. Many times, people aren’t sure what they want or what will feel like time well-spent.

    So much of a person’s approach to retirement depends on their temperament. What do they value most—freedom, balance, drive, accomplishment? Are they self-motivated or do they need outside structure in their days? 

    What has worked for you? Or how do you envision your future retirement?

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    13 responses to “What’s Your Approach?”

    1. Sally Showalter Avatar
      Sally Showalter

      I officially retired 2010 from Univ of AZ and hired myself back as a temp employee until 2021 when I officially left the Univ. I always considered my employment as secondary, therefore, I had tons of things in place that I did and continued to do more of once I was home. I feel pretty darn fortunate.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        That’s similar to my approach—decreased work and increased fun stuff I was already doing!

        1. writers70pocket Avatar

          Exactly! I was able to wrangle down from fulltime to parttime in a short amount of time and enough so to keep full benefits for the all the years I was at the U. And I kept decreasing my hours, and increasing the fun stuff at home. I liked your breakdown for ‘structure’ in that department.

    2. Ann Coleman Avatar

      I haven’t worked in an office for years, but I’m still walking dogs at the shelter and taking care of grandchildren. My husband, however, is supposed to be semi-retired, but all he’s really doing is working four days a week instead of five. I think he’s hesitating to really retire because he hasn’t decided exactly how he’s going to spend his time. It really is a huge transition!

    3. Karen Martha Avatar

      Retirement for me has been a time to get to know myself more deeply. Working and striving make self-exploration/betterment/knowledge harder to do. No longer having a role is exciting. Now what!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Glad it feels exciting!

    4. Carole Duff Avatar

      Good observations, Ellen. My husband Keith Kenny and I fall into the first category – non retirement, except we call it “re-missioning.” We are both writers now, new careers that provide structure, freedom, and fun. By the way, The Starflower by K.A. Kenny released today. Woohoo!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Glad you’ve found a path you enjoy!

    5. Amanda Le Rougetel Avatar

      Your list of retiree types is spot on, Ellen. Leaving full-time work behind opens new doors to different ways of being in the world and understanding oneself in the world. It took me a good year to sort my way through mixed emotions and the challenges of a new way of managing my time. I’m happy to say that now, entering my third year, I feel comfortable with the mix of structure and freedom I can enjoy. I no longer look back, only forward, keen to experience life on my own terms.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Most people need to experiment a bit to find the right mix. Glad you found yours!

    6. Eliza Waters Avatar

      Astute assessment, Ellen. My spouse and I seem to follow what you observed in men and women respectively. No schedule nor plans, and a bit of structure. If I do one thing a day, I’m happy; if I do too much and tire myself out, definitely NOT happy!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Yeah, I don’t like it if three things get crammed into one day, while the rest of the week is open!


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