“Advice on life’s trickiest situations and moral dilemmas.”

That’s the promise made by New York Times’ ethicist Kwame Anthony Appiah. I have found his columns immeasurably interesting and packed with ethical dilemmas ranging from “what do I do now that I’ve hidden my trust fund from my wife for 15 years” to “can people claim spots on the beach with empty chairs” to “does my fiancée love me or does he just want citizenship?”

Thanks to Appiah, I’m becoming wise enough to know that while my advice to others is well-intentioned, it may not always be helpful or even all that ethical. Here are five lessons I’ve learned by reading his columns:

Lesson #1: There are no one-size-fits-all solutions
Ethical dilemmas are rarely black and white. What’s right in one situation may not be in another. The columns remind me that ethics is a nuanced field, one with shades of grey. Solutions must be tailored to individual circumstances. Doing so prevents us from adopting a rigid moral framework and encourages us to consider the context and consequences before making decisions.

Lesson #2: Empathy is key
By putting myself in the shoes of those affected by my choices, I develop a deeper, more nuanced understanding of how my choices impact others. This helps me recognize the interconnectedness of human experiences, encouraging me to consider not just my immediate interests, but also the well-being of others who may be impacted by my decisions.

Lesson #3: Balance principles with real-world constraints
The Ethicist columns show that while our ethical values are important, so is our ability to compromise.

Lesson #4: Seek guidance and diverse perspectives
Reading, discussing options and seeking feedback from can expand our understanding and help us see things we might otherwise miss.

Lesson #5 Continually learn and adapt
Ethical thinking is not static; it evolves over time as societal norms change and our understanding of complex issues deepens. It also changes as we age. That’s one reason the Ethicist columns underscore the importance of continuous learning and adaptation based on current events and ongoing self-reflection.

The NYT’s Ethicist columns serve as a guiding light for me. Perhaps they will for you as well.