• Ready, Set…Disconnect

    This fast, fun and friendly book, Austin Kleon’s third on creativity, kept me going this past year.

    In it, he offers exactly what the subtitle promises…and exactly what I needed to hear:

    • Take one day at a time.
    • Establish a daily routine.
    • Finish each day and be done with it.

    Over this past year, I took this and his other advice to heart, especially one directive that really resonated with me: “Disconnect from the world to connect with yourself.”

    This phrase became my daily mantra, helping me see my COVID-induced isolation not as a punishment but as a gift.

    That said, disconnecting was a challenge, especially early on. Like many others, I missed attending meetings, joining colleagues for coffee and going for walks with friends. I even missed shopping, a task I’ve never much enjoyed.

    So, I was delighted when first one friend and then another invited me to Zoom with them. However, it took just two friend calls plus a handful of work-related video calls for Zoom Fatigue to set in. Even the thought of joining my beloved book club online wasn’t enough to get me to log back on.  

    I stayed in touch in other ways. I called my 94-year-old aunt every odd-numbered day of the week and a friend or other family member every even-numbered day. Plus I mailed at least one letter and a handful of cards each week and sent numerous emails.

    But as I embraced Kleon’s advice to disconnect, my reaching out to others fell by the wayside. So did my posting on social media. Nobody seemed to notice.

    Until this week.

    On Tuesday, my friend and fellow writer Diane reached out to ask if I was okay as she hadn’t received a reply to an email and realized that my last Facebook post was on April 2 and my last tweet on April 5. Today, I received a similar email from Maery, also a friend and fellow writer.

    My friend Laurie also checked in, wondering how I was doing with what she referred to as “reverse pandemic whiplash.”

    The answer? I’m not sure.

    After a year of isolating from everyone who wasn’t family, I finally got vaccinated and ventured out to get a long overdue haircut and join my book group in person for the first time in more than a year. It was wonderful to be together, outdoors and face to face on a beautiful Saturday morning.

    However, getting together made me realize I’m still not ready to return to the out-and-about life I led pre-COVID.

    Instead, I am still eager to connect with myself and, as Kleon states, that means disconnecting—not because I’m afraid of the virus, but because I want to thoughtfully add back in only those people and activities that fit the person I am now, a person I don’t yet know very well.

    Am I the same go-go-go person I was or have I become more of an internal seeker rather than external doer? Are all my friendships ones I want to carry with me or are there some I am ready to let go of? What about my hopes and dreams? How have they changed?

    These are some of questions I’m striving to answer while I get to know myself and before I once again find myself caught up in the busyness of life.

    What about you? Have you disconnected from others to connect with yourself? If so, what have you learned along the way?

    6 responses to “Ready, Set…Disconnect”

    1. Kristin Maija Peterson Avatar

      Kleon’s books are wonderful. Thought-provoking questions, Bev. I’m fortunate in that I genuinely like my own company. I have a rich inner life and my artwork. The thought of being pulled back into “society” feels overwhelming, at least right now. I know I will be picking and choosing carefully, staying true to myself versus worrying about missing out.

      1. Bev Bachel Avatar
        Bev Bachel

        Thx for your reply. I applaud your rich inner life, something I am striving to create for myself. And I appreciate I’m not the only who is choosing carefully

    2. Karen Martha Avatar

      I couldn’t agree more. “The world is too much with us.” And we had a chance to retreat for a while. I find that although I’m an introvert, time with others also inspires, and I don’t need to be picky about the “others.” Everyone is a teacher.

      1. Bev Bachel Avatar

        I like the idea of everyone being a teacher. Perhaps that will help me be more accepting, something I am beginning to struggle with.

    3. Eliza Waters Avatar

      You echo my thoughts as well, Bev. This has been an opportunity to ‘clean house,’ both within and without.

    4. Ellen Shriner Avatar

      Excellent questions! It’s good to be intentional and not jump headlong into previous life.

  • Farewell to Masks?

    I don’t enjoy wearing a mask. The elastic turns my ears elfish. Wearing my glasses cocked to hold down the mask alters my vision. And whoa, somebody’s breath sure stinks inside this mask! You’d think I’d be ecstatic that the CDC has said that in many settings, vaccinated people like me no longer have to wear a mask or distance. 

    Instead, I’m discombobulated. Not quite ready. I understand the rationale behind this policy change, but am struggling to process it.

    COVID has been a harsh teacher. The randomness of who got deathly ill or who experienced long term debilitating effects kept me careful. My sister, who is a respiratory therapist, told me stories of her grueling ICU shifts. Awareness that COVID was real and deadly became a form of low-level anxiety. Unwinding that daily concern will take time. 

    When a friend I rarely see said she’d be in town and asked if we could go out to dinner, my immediate reaction wasn’t yippee! It was, I’m not sure. Am I ready to eat inside a busy restaurant? Could we do patio dining instead?

    I do love hanging out unmasked with vaccinated family and friends. Masked, you learn to look at people’s eyes to see if they’re smiling or preoccupied. Now the full range of our expressions is visible. 

    Nevertheless, I’m not throwing out my masks. After 14 months of caution, I recognize the risk is reduced but not gone. Besides, although the state of Minnesota rescinded the mask mandate, Minneapolis and St. Paul have maintained it for a while longer.

    Yet I remind myself that the point of living through a pandemic is to be alive. Fully. Masking narrowed my vision and limited my sense of possibility. After more than a year of looking inward, turning outward again will be good. 

    , , , , ,

    6 responses to “Farewell to Masks?”

    1. Bev Bachel Avatar
      Bev Bachel

      I keep telling myself that I will continue to wear a mask when out running errands yet I often forget…despite the fact that I still don’t run many errands because of COVID.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        I have the same trouble. It’s confusing. I’ve been trying to mask as a courtesy to the workers, but several times I’ve forgotten my mask.

    2. Ann Coleman Avatar

      It’s a learning process for sure, and I think we all have different levels of risk we are willing to take. During this time of slowly coming out of the pandemic (in country, as much of the world is still struggling) I think the key is to be honest with ourselves and tolerant to those who are choosing differently. Great post!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thanks for commenting— it means a lot to know someone is reading.

    3. Luanne Avatar

      That’s exactly how I feel.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Glad I’m not the only one!

  • mi casa es su casa

    No persons of any race other than the Caucasian race shall use or occupy any building or any lot.

    A covenant is a provision, or promise, contained in a deed to land.

    I prayed it wasn’t true.

    I had often been proud of living in Richfield with its diversity. Student population at Richfield Senior High is 43% Hispanic, 26.8% White, 17.6% African American, 7.1% Two or more races and 4.9% Asian.

    With their Guatemalan origin Juan and Crystel fit right in. This was important to Jody and me. Already they were unusual for having two moms and being adopted. Let them blend in on occasion. Get a break from being special.

    Jody and I have owned our home for over 25 years. We welcomed Juan and Crystel into our home when they were infants. In one month, they will be graduating from Richfield High School. Yet this covenant is on our property deed.

    I had read about the Just Deeds Project on our Richfield Community Facebook page. To find out if our home had a discriminatory deed I simply needed to type in our address on the interactive map. I was sure our home didn’t have one.

    I’ve experienced the scorn and contempt of others for being different. Wouldn’t I inherently know discrimination? And, wasn’t it our family that always had the play dates, the school parties, and the block parties at our house to show everyone we were just like them? That we weren’t a family to be afraid of.

    Instantly, I felt ill.

    I did have a covenant on my home. Jody’s home. Juan and Crystel’s home. In 1968, Congress passed the Fair Housing Act, making covenants and other discriminatory housing practices illegal across the nation. Still, our house is marked. There is a pox on it.

    Real estate developers began writing racial covenants – race-based property ownership restrictions – into property deeds in 1910. They were banned by the Minnesota state legislature in 1953 but not before a racial covenant was written on our property on November 29, 1946.

    Richfield is home to 3,714 of these covenants.

    No persons of any race other than the Caucasian race shall use or occupy any building or any lot.

    How do I tell Juan and Crystel that a deed on our house states that no persons of any race other than the Caucasian race is welcomed in our home?

    I can still be proud of Richfield. On Tuesday, April 13, the Richfield City Council took action to support the Just Deeds project. Starting May 1, 2021 Richfield homeowners can discharge the racial covenant on their property records. I immediately submitted an online Just Deeds Request form to start the process.

    I want the next owner of our home to understand that I disagree with any type of racial covenant on our home. I want the owners to know that we made an effort to remove the mark, the pox, the stain on our house.

    I can easily see one of our children owning our home and if not them a family that is not Caucasian. In fact, I would welcome that. Mi casa es su casa.

    ,

    One response to “mi casa es su casa”

    1. Cynthia Kraack Avatar
      Cynthia Kraack

      Excellent blog, Elizabeth.


Recent Posts

  • Borrowed Time

    Rain hammered the passenger van, rattling the metal like gravel tossed against a tin roof. Each burst sounded closer, louder, as if the storm were trying to break its way in. Why today, of all days, when Juan was visiting his birth family? We had planned it so carefully. We’d even had a kind of…

  • From Minneapolis

    …they have cost children the life of their mother….

  • A Few of My Favorite Things

    When I feel world-weary, I actively try to turn away from the world’s troubles and focus on the many good things in my life. In addition to my family and friends, here are some things I enjoyed this past year—art, books, nature. Sorry, no raindrops on roses! When I saw this painting I wanted to…