• Quilting My Way Out of COVID

    In February, I started planning a queen-size bed quilt. I waited until after the holidays so I’d have a big time-consuming project to help me get through the long uncertain months while COVID still raged. Who knew when I’d be vaccinated or when we’d be safe? 

    I’d grown accustomed to the restrictions. Aside from grocery store clerks, the only people we saw were our sons and only for a few minutes. When they visited, they hovered near the front door never taking off their winter jackets—all of us masked. With everyone else, it was phone calls or Zoom visits.

    Time was heavy on my hands. Cutting and arranging little strips of color one square at a time was how I’d keep sane until spring when we could see friends and family outside. 

    At one level, I was immersing myself in a creative process involving color and texture—a visual challenge that has always attracted me. But part of the appeal this time was creating order, making sense of something when so many things outside my four walls didn’t make sense. Day by day I completed squares and made visible progress when the sense of progress out in the big world was tenuous. 

    As March gave way to April, more people became vaccinated, including me. Winter eased up and I could be outside with friends again. In May and June, I began cautiously approaching a more normal life: seeing vaccinated friends, gardening, walking, and socializing.

    I had less need of my quilting project, but it wasn’t finished. Like COVID, the project had lasted too long. I was so ready to be done. 

    During the past week as I quilted the pieced top, batting, and back, I became intimately familiar with every inch and all the places where a seam wandered or a square didn’t align. But as my dad used to say when my husband fretted about a home repair’s small imperfection, “A guy riding by on a motorcycle probably wouldn’t even notice that.” 

    If you’d asked me a week ago, I would have said the best thing about this quilt is that it’s DONE. 

    Today, I’m again pleased with the cheerful colors. 

    The quilt project served its purpose and its history will fade with time. A year from now, I hope only pleasure in the quilt’s color and pattern remains vivid. 

    , , , , , ,

    8 responses to “Quilting My Way Out of COVID”

    1. Ann Coleman Avatar

      It’s so pretty, Ellen! And what a smart way to spend the long days of lock down. I’m glad you found the patience to finish it even after the restrictions were lifted!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thank you! I knew I wouldn’t want to still be working on it this summer 😉

    2. cmkraack Avatar
      cmkraack

      It is beautiful. Maybe when it has served its time, you should store it away with a card that tells the story about quilting during the pandemic.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Great idea—something for my imaginary grandchildren to discover 😆

    3. Margo Avatar
      Margo

      Oh Ellen it is beautiful! Like a symbol of hope and beauty and patience; a rainbow at the end of the war

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        I love that you see all of that in it!

    4. Eliza Waters Avatar

      It is beautiful, Ellen, and a perfect project to keep your mind and hands occupied as we waited for the ‘all clear’ to sound. Well done!

  • Endings and Beginnings

    Juan and Crystel’s graduation is this week.

    There are graduation parties, athletic banquets, Senior party, after grad parties, and bonfires.

    I was kicked out of school the last week of 12th grade. I was banned from attending my senior party. I was unpredictable. Impressionable. Dangerous. I never attended a prom. It wasn’t because of COVID.

    Juan and Crystel are experiencing life differently than I did at their age. They have more of a life, more joy, more celebration, more love.

    It makes me cry.

    A different life from what I had is always what I wanted for my kids.

    “You have great kids,” a track coach said at their athletic banquet.  “I don’t know what they are like at home but here they are awesome. Polite. Happy.”

    I cried some more.

    Plaques lining both their walls say, “MVP Award, Rookie of the Year, Most Improved Award, Work Horse Award, Most Valuable Distance Runner, Most Valuable Teammate, Spotlight on Scholarship, Eagle Scout.

    Jody and I have great kids. We have done a lot of things right. And, when we haven’t, we have apologized and explained why we had the reaction we did.

    In middle school, Juan nudged me out of his room when we had a disagreement about his phone. I said words that I’m not proud of. Later that evening, I called a family meeting. I apologized to Juan and I told him that my reaction was because I lived with violence growing up in my house. I told him that our home would not ever be like that. We were never to touch one another in anger.

    Jody and I are frequently asked, “How does it feel to be empty nesters?” 

    I just shake my head.

    My mother made it clear that when you graduated high school you were not to come home, again.

    Wherever we are, Juan and Crystel will be.

    The porch light is always on.

    I always wanted to know what love looked like. I know.

    ,

    3 responses to “Endings and Beginnings”

    1. Eliza Waters Avatar

      A great contribution to the world – well-launched and well-done!

    2. Bev Bachel Avatar

      A powerful post. Brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing.

    3. Carol Avatar
      Carol

      Well said and beautifully written.

  • Broken Dreams

    Aniya Allen’s funeral was June 2, 2021.  Six years old, the newspapers said she wore a sparkling tiara in her small pink coffin. The second to die of three young children caught in gun violence in Minneapolis this May. One is still in hospital. On a local television news show, young Minneapolis school children talked about being afraid to play outside or go to the park or to see friends. They asked, begged, demanded that older kids and adults put down guns and give peace a chance and kids a chance to grow and dream. 

    Unfortunately these two families are not the only ones who have lost their very young children to the senseless and unexpected gun fighting of young men with disagreements that should have been resolved with discussions, even strong words, maybe fists. Not guns shot in an alley. Not a shootout on a street corner where parents drove home from grocery stores or taking a child to McDonalds. These babies cannot be replaced, these families’ broken dreams cannot be rebuilt.

    According to Brady every year 7,957 children and teens are shot in the United States. More than 1,600 will die from gun violence. Gun sales in the United States grew over 65% increase in 2019 and continue strong in 2020. Like icebergs, there is no true tally of general U.S. gun possession that accounts for arms purchased illegally or stolen. 

    A child’s funeral is about the saddest gathering on earth. Eulogies for a child describe their smiles, their bright eyes, their wonderful laugh, their love of sports or dancing or swimming, their helpfulness, of pride in being a big sister or brother. All the ways a young child’s life should be talked about when families gather for birthdays or holidays, but not in a solemn church or temple service while mourning the one resting in a small pink coffin.

    We have all lost Aniya Allen and Trinity Ottoson-Smith and the other 1,600 children and teens dead because of gun violence.  So many broken dreams.

    , , , , , ,

    One response to “Broken Dreams”

    1. Bev Bachel Avatar

      Your post brought tears to my eyes. So, so sad.


Recent Posts

  • Borrowed Time

    Rain hammered the passenger van, rattling the metal like gravel tossed against a tin roof. Each burst sounded closer, louder, as if the storm were trying to break its way in. Why today, of all days, when Juan was visiting his birth family? We had planned it so carefully. We’d even had a kind of…

  • From Minneapolis

    …they have cost children the life of their mother….

  • A Few of My Favorite Things

    When I feel world-weary, I actively try to turn away from the world’s troubles and focus on the many good things in my life. In addition to my family and friends, here are some things I enjoyed this past year—art, books, nature. Sorry, no raindrops on roses! When I saw this painting I wanted to…