WordSisters

  • Your Future Self Will Thank You

    bevbachel's avatar

    bevbachel

     

    Back in 2014, I attended a lecture at the University of Minnesota’s Center for Spirituality and Healing. The speaker was Kelly McGonigal, an author and health psychologist who teaches The Science of Willpower, a popular Stanford University course.

    According to McConigal, one of our biggest mistakes when making decisions is not picturing our future selves and how the decisions we make today will impact us in the years ahead.

    That’s one reason why so many people put off doing things that could make a big difference in the decades to come: eating well, exercising regularly, maintaining friendships, saving for retirement and other actions that research has shown makes a big difference to quality of life as we age.

    One way to set up your future self for success is by getting in touch with your hopes and dreams. I’ve been keeping a bucket list of mine for decades.

    But because that list has gotten unwieldly—in large part because it now serves as a catch-all for everything from climbing Mount Kilimanjaro to taste-testing brandy Manhattans to building a cabin with my partner Steve to visiting the world’s most beautiful libraries—I also now keep an index card on which I’ve written just 10 things I want to accomplish in the next 10 years.

    Even if I cross only one item off my index card every year for the next 10 years I’ll have a few accomplishments my future self will be able to look back on with pride as well as some experiences she can recall fondly.

    Manifesting Me

    Some years, I’ve called my future self into focus by giving her a name that had to do with one of my goals. One year, she was Author Artist. Shortly after, I signed a contract for my first book and become a real-life author.

    I’m not the only one who uses names to bring the future into focus. On a recent episode of the Meditative Story podcast, music producer Larry Jackson shared a story about his work with Jennifer Hudson. On the day of their recording session, she arrived with two Pomeranians. One was named Oscar. The other Grammy. Admitting his cluelessness, Jackson asked her why she’d chosen those particular names.

    Hudson’s response: “Well, I won an Oscar already and now we about to win a Grammy, ain’t we?” They did, and perhaps having two four-legged reminders of her future self-played a role in making that dream come true.

    There are also other ways to call our future selves into focus. Journaling and dream boards are two common methods, but one of my favorites is by projecting yourself into the future.

    One of my friend’s friends did that recently. She’s always dreamed of working for Spanx. So, one day, when in Atlanta for business, she spent an hour sitting in the Spanx lobby, picturing what it would be like one day if her future self really did work there.

    Ready, set … age

    Another tool that’s helped me get in touch with my future self is AgingBooth, a free face-aging app that lets you fast-forward your looks. Seeing what I might look like in 2050…when I’m 92…has helped me realize how much I’m looking forward to becoming my future self.

    Will she be kinder? Still able to play 18 holes of golf. Eager to discover new authors? Finally rid of her bad habits.

    What about you? How do you bring your future self into focus?

    Me in 2020, at age 62
    Me in 2050, at 92

    , , , , ,

    3 responses to “Your Future Self Will Thank You”

    1. Kim Gorman Avatar
      Kim Gorman

      Cool app! I’m learning to live in the moment. That’s the only way I can see making the most of my life.

      1. Bev Bachel Avatar
        Bev Bachel

        Thanks for offering up your comment.

    2. Eliza Waters Avatar
      Eliza Waters

      Thought provoking post, Bev!

  • Cocktail Hour

    Elizabeth di Grazia's avatar

    Elizabeth di Grazia

    Before all of us dispersed at the end of the evening, the leg broke loose from the fire pit bowl, toppling hot embers into the street.  It had been repaired once before using a zip tie.

    Our melting pot of a block was gathered together for no reason other than a stay-at-home order was in place for midnight.

    Lawn chairs were haphazardly set in a circular pattern at the dead end of the block in front of the No Parking Fire Lane sign.

    Jody and I had been encouraging these get-togethers for over twenty years. Many had been held in our back yard. Now others on the block often sounded the alarm for a get-together.

    Single, married, remarried, divorced, widowed, Indonesian, Hispanic, African American, white, young, old, Republican, Democrat, gay and straight mixed around the fire that I poked with my 6-foot distancing stick.

    There were those who believed in conspiracy theories, those who loved our President and blame the Chinese, and those attracted to herd immunity. There were also those who were frustrated with the President’s response and reassured by the state’s plans.

    Our entire block of eight houses was represented, in its diversity and imperfection, a potpourri of all there is in the world.

    Throughout the evening, I moved from lawn chair to lawn chair, appreciating all our differences.

    I took pride that we could come together time after time finding commonality and enjoyment in each other.

    Before he left, the oldest guy on the block would say with satisfaction, “None of us on the block have it,” meaning the COVID–19.

    I was happy to be a part of his ‘us.’ He was too. Though in all respects, he and I, are polar opposites in our religious and political views. I take delight in who he is. He’s gifted me fish he’s caught and venison from deer he has killed.

    I believe, that despite our differences, if my family did get COVID-19, he and all the others on our block would look after us. We are all part of the ‘us.’

    His wife stayed back helping me with the now broken fire pit. We doused the embers together. Before she walked down the street, she said, “We need a get-together at our house. We’ve never had people over.”

    Our imperfect block will continue to rendezvous. The broken fire pit will once again get mended. Social distance will be respected in varying degrees.

    5 responses to “Cocktail Hour”

    1. Kim Gorman Avatar
      Kim Gorman

      It’s great you could all come together and enjoy one another’s company despite your political differences. That would be hard for me.

    2. Ann Coleman Avatar
      Ann Coleman

      Wow! After overdosing on all the fighting and “them and us” mentality that has surrounded this virus, your post was a breath of fresh air. Yes, we can come together (safely from six feet) with those who disagree with us, because we realize that even though we think differently, we all want this world to be a good place, for everyone. And when we’re tolerant and open-minded with those who are different, it can be. Even in the midst of an pandemic.

      1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
        Elizabeth di Grazia

        Thank you, Ann.

    3. Ann Helm Avatar
      Ann Helm

      This is great. Stay close while staying apart. I love your open-heartedness. Love to you and yours from our stay at home. XoxxoX

      1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
        Elizabeth di Grazia

        Thank you, Ann.

  • Time Suspended

    Ellen Shriner's avatar

    Ellen Shriner

    Ancestral Pueblo people, including the Anasazi, lived in the New Mexico cliffs for centuries. The view from one of their dwellings helps give me perspective about the pandemic.

    Whenever I travel, time suspends at the airport. I’m not flying the plane. I can’t control the weather. I’m at the mercy of the airlines and TSA and whatever rules they impose.

    So I wait. In limbo. Crowded into a row of airport seats, keeping my arms and legs close, pinned behind my roll-on suitcase. Listening to announcements. Unsurprised by delays. Constrained.

    Onboard, I shoehorn myself into an airplane seat. And wait. Wait to be given a snack. Wait to be allowed to get up. Usually, I accept the waiting, don’t expect anything different.

    Often, I relish the flight time. No one needs anything from me. I can watch a silly movie that I wouldn’t have bothered with in the movie theater. I read, write, or doze. Eat all of the snacks.

    Like air travel, sheltering in place is restrictive—close quarters, limited amusements, and out of my hands. I wouldn’t have signed up for it, but now that I’m on this journey, borrowing from my air travel mindset helps me accept this limbo. For the most part.

    Cosmic smooch

    In flight and during quarantine, time suspends. After an indeterminate while, we will arrive, and time will re-engage. Life will start up in a new place.

    , ,

    5 responses to “Time Suspended”

    1. Karen Martha Avatar
      Karen Martha

      Gives me a new perspective. Time is truly suspended and I can’t solve it by “being busy,” rather surrendering makes so much more sense. Thanks!

    2. Ann Coleman Avatar
      Ann Coleman

      That’s a very good way to look at it, Ellen! I do the same thing when I fly…just go on “autopilot” because I have no control over anything. Sometimes I enjoy it, too, for the exact reasons you stated. I’m trying to have that mindset for this situation as well, but sometimes it feels like one of those time when I’m at the airport, trying to fly somewhere for a short and much-anticipated vacation, and the flight just keeps getting delayed and delayed and delayed. You know what I mean, I’m sure!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar
        Ellen Shriner

        Unfortunately, I do know what you mean—the delay, delay, delay part of the metaphor works too. Take care!

    3. Eliza Waters Avatar
      Eliza Waters

      Great analogy, Ellen. It is a waiting game for sure.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar
        Ellen Shriner

        Thanks! I hope you and your family are doing OK.

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