• Staying Connected While Keeping the Distance

    Between the pandemic and the resulting stock market tumble, my mind is often a crazymaking mess, fueled in part by our president’s lack of concern, care and compassion.

    To keep myself from getting derailed by the body’s fight, flight or freeze response, I’m practicing mindfulness, which my friend Jacquelyn Fletcher Johnson, founder of Heartwood Healing, describes as paying attention to the present moment without rehashing the past or panicking about the future.

    While I’m certainly not convinced that things are going to be “just fine,” being mindful has helped me think more clearly and calmly.

    Two other things have helped: a mantra I’ve borrowed from my sister Karen (“Whatever happens, I’m going to be okay, today and in the future”) and a practice I learned from my friend Diane (Focus on what you want, control what you can).

    To help keep my focus positive I’m staying connected with others while spending my days at home. I’m sending at least one card a day and even some handwritten letters. I’ve found a bliss buddy; she and I occasionally text one another what we are grateful for. I’m having weekly conversations with aunts, uncles and cousins, some of whom I haven’t talked with in years. And on Saturday, I’ll be meeting with my book group via Zoom rather than in person.

    I’m also taking inspiration from what others are doing.

    Deb Shanilec, my minimalist friend who helps people discover that less truly can be more, plans to celebrate her upcoming birthday via a virtual party around her backyard firepit. Teresa Thomas, founder of 50 Fun Things, is hosting an open-to-anyone online “Happier Hour” each Friday afternoon with the goal of raising a toast to joy.

    And while joy isn’t my constant companion, it does remain my friend, in part because I’m practicing what Jacque refers to as the “art of the return.” By repeatedly and gently bringing my attention back to the tasks at hand, to my values and to the people and causes I care about, I gradually return to my future hopes and dreams.

    How are you keeping calm? What are you doing to carry on? Who is sustaining you? What hopes and dreams are you envisioning for your own post-pandemic life? We’d love to hear. Please share.

     

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    5 responses to “Staying Connected While Keeping the Distance”

    1. SaaniaSparkle 🧚🏻‍♀️ Avatar

      Hope you’re well and safe!

    2. wrytr Avatar

      I’m learning how to use new communications software, campaigning to raise funds for the poverty-stricken people here in Mexico, those who can’t just “order it on Amazon” if they don’t find it in the store, and putting shorter work days just because I can. Bev, you won’t believe this, but I’m actually planning and preparing edible meals! That’s new. And I’m keeping the plants alive now, whereas I sort of walked past them before, just expecting them to wave at me and smell nice. (Hint: They need water and sometimes not the sun or shade you place them in before you know they need the opposite, and also some plants don’t like being next to others.) Is that mindfulness? Noticing these things? Today I posted some alarming facts about COVID-19 on my Facebook page and then I took them off. I decided if someone really wants to know how dire the situation is, they can look it up on WHO’s website. On my real estate, I want people to feel better. It may not help, butcha’know it sure can’t hurt. (You can take the muchacha out of Minnesota but you can’t take Minnesota out of the muchacha.)

      1. Bev Bachel Avatar
        Bev Bachel

        Okay, planning and preparing meals? You definitely have me beat. My culinary skills remain about where they were at when we first met. And a few months ago I realized my last remaining plant–a cactus even–had died without me noticing. I still feel bad about that.

        I alternate between taking all the cv news in…and blocking it out. Informed enough to be as spooked as I’m willing to take on most of the time. Sometimes let in more, sometimes block out more.

        Am glad I didn’t go to Panama this year. They shut down all flights and the hotel that’s part of the development I’m in is being used for quarantine. Scary times.

        Stay well. Thank you always for the gift of your friendship.

    3. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
      Elizabeth di Grazia

      Thanks, Bev, for your words . I have continued to go to work. I’m a human resources manager for a manufacturing packaging company. An essential business. Work has kept me quite busy. When I get home I like to go for a long walk on my new knees. I’m of the belief that if I don’t use it, I’ll lose it. I love being outdoors especially when the sun is out. On my way to work it is often in the quiet as I ask the universe to help me have my best self show up. I want to add that the majority of our manufacturing employees are Asian and I’m proud to work right along side of them. I’m so happy that they are deemed essential. I’m blessed to be of service to them.

      1. Bev Bachel Avatar
        Bev Bachel

        Love the thought of you walking on new knees. It must feel a kind of rebirth. Also like the idea of showing up with your best self. I’m going to borrow that as I’ve recently been showing up with my stressed self.

  • Mental Whiplash

    On February 19th, the snow was deep in our yard, and our alley was so rutted with thick ice that my car was forced to follow the deep track. Before my husband and I left for our three-week snowbird experiment in the Southwest, life seemed relatively predictable.

    We are keenly interested in politics, so the Democratic primary in South Carolina on February 25 and Super Tuesday on March 3 (which included Minnesota) were on our minds. We voted before we left town.

    We speculated about the outcomes as we hiked in the California desert among shaggy palms, Joshua trees, and giant boulders that are tumbled like toys in the foothills.

    Less than 48 hours before Super Tuesday, the trailing presidential candidates ended their runs abruptly. Although the departures were inevitable, the timing was startling. The consolidation of candidates meant that my early vote was irrelevant. Like many, we were astonished by Joe Biden’s surge. When Elizabeth Warren exited a few days later, I was sad that there were no women candidates. The political landscape had changed dramatically, and the rapid change was jangling. However, COVID-19 felt remote.

    In Tucson, our next destination, the desert was blooming. Clumps of yellow desert marigold dotted the hills that bristled with saguaro cactus. The sunny warmth of Sabino Canyon’s trails soothed me.

    During the first week of March, concerns about COVID-19 came to the forefront for us. This was new terrain. Until then, sensible precautions seemed enough; our life hadn’t been disrupted. With each subsequent day, our understanding of the COVID-19 crisis increased as updates poured in faster than we could absorb them.

    The Grand Princess cruise ship, which carried passengers ill with COVID-19, docked in Oakland. We worried about our son and his significant other, a physician in Oakland, who would be on the front lines.

    The sky was overcast but the temps were still warm as we walked trails alongside the broad dry Rillito riverbed. I noticed spikes of pink penstemon, but our conversations centered around the looming pandemic and the conflicting national response. We worried about restrictions on flights from Europe where our niece was studying abroad and the pandemic’s impact on the economy.

    By the time we flew home, the landscape was changing hourly with updates about cases and the CDC and NIH’s latest guidance. On our first day back, the president declared the overdue National Emergency. Comprehending the impact of the cascade of closings and event cancellations was hard. Is hard.

    The pandemic is uncharted territory. Only a week ago, I wondered if I’d be able to fly to Chicago later this month for a wedding shower. Several days ago, meetings with my writer’s group and book group seemed possible. We’ve ruled out travel, in-person visits, and ordinary errands to help “flatten the curve.” The daily, even hourly, changes are like mental whiplash. No school. OK. Restaurants and stores with limited service. OK. Stay home. Got it.

    March 18thIn the space of a month, so much has changed. The world looks very different. Socializing in person has been postponed. I no longer assume my travel plans for May and July will happen. We’ll see. We’re figuring it out, day by day, case by case, just like everyone else.

    Screen Shot 2020-03-18 at 10.56.42 AM            Screen Shot 2020-03-18 at 11.01.46 AM

     

     

    At the moment, we’re healthy. The snow in our yard is nearly gone, and the alley is ice-free and dry. As I circle the yard, I note the early tulips and weeds pushing up in my gardens as they always have. Though much is unknown and I’m seeing the world with a new perspective, spring is coming, and for that, I’m grateful.

     

     

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    4 responses to “Mental Whiplash”

    1. Ann Coleman Avatar

      yes, it seems like years ago when my main concern was my dog’s heart worm and how over-crowded my spring schedule was. Now it’s completely cleared, and like everyone else, I’m trying to figure out how to adapt to this new reality and what things will look like for our nation and our world once it is over. I don’t honestly know, and that’s unsettling. But it will end sometime and hopefully saner heads will prevail!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        No playbook for this, but we figure it out.

    2. Eliza Waters Avatar

      Mental whiplash is right! My head spins. I am grateful that I live in a rural area with lots of places to walk, never meeting a soul, as well as my garden that is starting to show growth. So many sayings run through my head as I try to process this whole thing. “This, too, shall pass” has become my mantra. I hope you continue to do well, Ellen.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thank you! We’re adapting. “This too shall pass” runs through my mind too. Take care !

  • I Thought I Was Doing What I Was Supposed to be Doing

    “That’s the problem,” he said. I looked down at my legs. I was sitting on a physical therapy table with my legs outstretched on the tabletop. I couldn’t see what he could see. He pointed to the concave shape of my inner thigh. “Your leg has atrophied.”

    What?!? Atrophy might describe an old lady … maybe someone who’s in her late 80’s and immobile.  Not me! When I thought that I could speak without crying, I interrupted him with questions. “Is my other leg atrophied?” Yes, he said. Later that evening I would sob with Jody.

    How could that be? Exercise has been a priority for me and after getting my knees replaced, I continued to exercise at least 5 days a week, whether it be aqua pool jogging, biking, or Pilates reformer. During my workday I piled on steps from walking the plant floor.

    Over a month ago, I had graduated from physical therapy following my last knee replacement. What brought me back to the doctor was a constant pain where my IT band ended near the knee. My knees were terrific, but this new pain was causing me to limp.

    What I learned is that all the exercising that I was doing was great, but my quads needed strengthening. If my quads were stronger, then the IT band wouldn’t have to work so hard. I needed to get my quads to fire.

    I was introduced to Blood Flow Restriction Therapy. The physical therapist put a band similar to a blood pressure cuff on my upper thigh and pumped it up. This stopped the blood from flowing into my leg. I then did straight leg raises, quads over roll, and knee extensions. What this did was engage my quad muscles.

    After two sessions with blood flow restriction therapy I was no longer feeling any pain.

    I recently graduated from physical therapy again. I purchased a blood flow restriction band to continue the exercises at home. My goal is to climb Mount Fuji on our Japan trip this summer. No atrophy allowed.

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    One response to “I Thought I Was Doing What I Was Supposed to be Doing”

    1. Eliza Waters Avatar

      I’ve no doubt you will reach your goal, Beth. Give ’em hell! 🙂


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