“I’m not a kid, anymore”, my son said. Why was I then having to cajole him into writing thank you cards? Isn’t that an adult thing? Jody and I had a gathering of up to fifty people to celebrate – and more importantly – to recognize his graduation from Dunwoody College of Technology.
Our son didn’t want a basket to be set out for cards. “It looks like I expect something, then,” he said.
He wore a hooded sweatshirt, graciously accepted the cards given to him, and slid the cards into his hoodie pocket. Later he transferred the cards to his cubby.
My son graduated from Dunwoody with honors. Earlier, I had pointed to his Cum Laude and Outstanding Attendance designation on the commencement program. “You did that,” I said. “Me and Mama Jody never once got you up for school. We never once asked you if you had class work to do. You did that.”
He looked pleased. “I know.”
But, to write a thank you card?
Ever since our son and daughter could hold a crayon, the expectation was to send thank you cards for birthday and holiday gifts. In some ways, it was easy for them. A thank you card is made of two halves. Our son would have one half and our daughter the other. They each would draw a picture displaying their own unique personality. Jody and I would address and mail the cards.
Juan balked at drawing a picture. “I’m not a kid, anymore.”
In retrospect, I probably should have expected his pushback sooner.
My son and daughter are members of the first social generation to have grown up with access to the Internet. They are labeled digital natives. Both consume digital information quickly and comfortably through electronic devices and platforms.
Where does that leave the digital immigrants? The grandparents, aunts and uncles, and family friends who grew up dominated by print before the advent of the Internet.
We would like a thank you card, and we would like our children to send thank you cards.
Is it enough for our children to say thank you in person when handed a card? I’m sure that my son did that. He is sociable, polite and courteous. I’m old-fashioned. I haven’t let go of the idea that the written word is important. Our son did end up sending thank you cards. He did the absolute bare minimum.
Will thank you cards, thank you texts, emails, etc. become antiquated? Will it be all thought, all energy driven? Appreciation transmitted without electronics. Mind to mind. A glow of light. If asked, the children will say that we are already there. It’s us digital immigrants that must catch up.
2 responses to “A Simple Thank You”
I am big on saying thank you and sending cards. Nothing beats getting that card from the mailbox, in your hand, slice it open and read how someone took time to appreciate.
I am with you in the ‘expectations of thanks’ camp. I like to receive cards and, therefore, I send cards — often of thanks, sometimes just to connect. Cards are tangible and can be kept in a keepsake box, thus extending the connection between the persons. I like all of that. I equally like / appreciate the super-speed of digital communication and — and this makes me hopelessly old fashioned, I’m sure — I will print and glue into my Daily Log those digital messages that are particularly meaningful to me.