• The Secret Life of Jewelry

    Every morning, I indulge in a small ritual—choosing what jewelry to wear. What I reach for depends on my mood and what clothes I’m wearing. It’s an expression of my taste. But I’m also choosing talismans. The pieces I wear don’t offer magical protection, exactly, but they do offer a tiny bit of power—to keep people close to me.

    Many of the earrings, rings, and necklaces I have were gifts. Slipping them on reminds me that I’m loved. Or if I wear something that belonged to my mother, grandmothers or aunts, I am drawing on memories of them to give me strength.

    I’m not alone in assigning secret meanings to my jewelry.

    When I visited the Victoria & Albert Museum’s Jewelry exhibit in London last fall, I learned that since ancient times, whether jewelry was made from bones and shells or wrought from gold and precious gems, it has had meanings that go beyond adornment and self-expression.

    Seringapatam Jewels at the Victoria and Albert Museum in England.

    Often the additional meanings are obvious—to show status and wealth (crown jewels), to express love and affection (wedding bands), as a sign of faith (the cross for Christians and the Star of David for Jews). Jewelry is also worn for protection or in remembrance.

    The ancients thought certain stones and gems protected the wearer from illness and evil spirits. For example, rubies are supposed to confer health, strength and fearlessness. I didn’t know that when I chose a wedding band with rubies in it. I just liked rubies—I wasn’t hoping to feel more powerful.

    Wearing jewelry as keepsakes is the meaning I most relate to.

    After my mother died, I began to wear her wedding band on a chain as a way to keep her close. Not every day, but more intentionally, when I specifically want to think of her.

    The opal ring my husband gave me, when I was depressed about turning 60, reminds me of his enduring love and how well he understands me.

    An inexpensive craft fair ring with chips of peridot and garnet in it reminds me of my father and a sunny day when I visited Dad and Mom in Florida. Their health was still good and we were carefree.

    The oval garnet ring my sister gave me when I became a mother brings to mind our strong bond.

    garnet

    So many of the pieces I love and wear often—the bracelet my sister-in-law made for me, the necklaces a friend has sent me over the years, and the earrings my sons have given me—remind me of some of the special people in my life. Wearing these gifts is a secret source of joy.

    3 gifts

     

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    6 responses to “The Secret Life of Jewelry”

    1. Susanne Avatar

      I have a few talismans like yours, too, Ellen. When my mother died I kept a lot of her costume jewelry as mementos but I don’t often wear them. I collect crafty jewelry when I travel – also as mementos – and I try to avoid cheap costume pieces that will just end up in the garbage. So much of what is mass produced now is terrible quality and not meant to last. I still have a few pieces from the 1980’s when I first started buying costume pieces when they used real metal and not just painted plastic.

      Wow! Look at all the memories you stirred up with this post! Thanks for that.

      1. Ellen ShrinerEllen Avatar

        Thanks for letting me know you share my outlook–glad I brought back some good memories!

    2. bbachel Avatar
      bbachel

      Thanks for the nudge to be more intentional in the jewelry I choose. Reading your post made me realize I’ve gotten in the habit of wearing just a few pieces.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thanks, as always, for sharing your thoughts! In recent years I’ve started thinking more about what I’m wearing– it’s not a weighty decision–just a bit of extra thought.

    3. Eliza Waters Avatar

      Pretty pieces you have and loving memories to go with them, Ellen. I hadn’t thought about jewelry like that, but you’re right, they are!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thanks for commenting! I’m not too precious avout it, but I do like thinking about the person who gave me the jewelry or the event I associate with it.

  • Spending Time with Teens

    Juan and Crystel
    Juan and Crystel

    I’ll tell you right up front that this is a feel-good blog about teens. Stop reading right now if you think that all teens are sneaky, up to no good, and downright horrible. That’s not been my experience.

    A teenager dog-sat and house-sat for us this past President’s weekend. The same teen we handed our house keys over to last year when we left for a ten day stay in Guatemala. It was the summer before his senior year in high school. We came home to a note on the counter and the house as clean as we left it. Our dogs were walked and run. Our cats fed.

    Jody and I spent President’s weekend with 4 teens. We promised our daughter a cross country skiing weekend for her birthday. Juan, Crystel and two of her friends came. I thought this might be a long weekend, one that you just try to get through. It was a long weekend and I genuinely enjoyed being with them. Lights were out at 11 pm and the teens were up at 8 am to start the day. Of course, we used some of the same techniques that Jody and I used when Juan and Crystel were little. Such as, “We’ll see you at breakfast.” Knowing that if the teens wanted to eat, that we would see them at breakfast and that if they didn’t want to eat we wouldn’t. Juan missed one morning.

    Photo taken by Jody
    photo by Jody

    The skiing conditions in Tofte, MN were satisfactory. As soon as the teens had their skis on they disappeared so quickly that I wasn’t sure which direction they went. Jody and I didn’t meet up with them until we had finished skiing several hours later.

    We spent a lot of time in the car. A trip on Saturday and Sunday to Tofte to ski. An extended trip to Grand Marais. A stop at Split Rock Lighthouse and Gooseberry Falls. Being trapped in the car with teens could have been a nightmare but wasn’t. We took turns sitting in the cramped third seat of the van. Crystel and I had a competition to see who could have a straw stuck to their lip longest. I lost. I pretended that I was at the movies with her and tried sneaking my arm around her shoulders, to no avail. When Juan wasn’t sleeping he was beating me at electronic pool.

    The most memorable and fun time with the teens was at restaurants. The rule at the table was no phones.

    photo taken by Crystel
    photo by Crystel

    There was no bickering. No poking fun at each other. Which isn’t really ever fun if you think about it. There were times I laughed until my stomach hurt.

    Of course, it wasn’t all rosy. It wouldn’t be real, then. After Juan mentioned for the third time that he wanted to go home, I told him that he needed to stop. That I had heard him but that we weren’t going home until Monday. He slept a lot. The same thing I did as a teen.

    The following week was a middle school dance. Neither, Juan and Crystel wanted to go. Instead, they asked to have friends over. Jody and I would be working the dance as Police Reserve Officers while they would be at home. At one point when Juan, Crystel, and their five friends were gathered together, I said that if any of them smoked marijuana they were not to do it in or outside of our house. They all looked at me like I had lost my mind.

    photo by Crystel
    photo by Crystel

    They were gathered in the front yard when Jody and I got into our car to leave. We were in our police uniforms and would be going right to the middle school. One of them asked me why I had said that. I looked at the seven of them and told them that I was fourteen once. Juan mentioned my book, House of Fire. He knew why I knew.

    I pointed two fingers at my eyes and then I waved it in a circle at all of them.

    “I’m watching you,” I said. “I’m watching all of you.”

    Jody and I then left to watch someone else’s kids at the middle school dance.

    It occurred to me as we drove away that I was making good at my spoken and unspoken promise to my children – That growing up, they would have a different life than mine. Both of them are 14. Their life is so very very different. I’m proud of that.

    6 responses to “Spending Time with Teens”

    1. bbachel Avatar
      bbachel

      They are lucky to have the life you have created for them. And I am lucky to be able to read about it now and again.

      1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
        Elizabeth di Grazia

        Thank you. I love being able to write and share about the experience. Thanks for reading.

    2. Mary Darud Avatar
      Mary Darud

      You are all so amazing! It’s so cool how you still know how to connect with your kids and be silly with them. I love that you were in the middle seat as well!

      1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
        Elizabeth di Grazia

        Yes, Mary, love spending time and sharing life with them. Thanks for reading.

    3. Eliza Waters Avatar

      Great post, Elizabeth. It is a tightrope walk raising teens. You just do the best you can!

      1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
        Elizabeth di Grazia

        Eliza, thanks for reading and commenting. I love writing about my experience with Juan and Crystel.

  • Gaining Ground

    “Feel the Earth beneath you. Draw on the Earth’s energy,” my Yin Yoga instructor often says during the opening meditation. I rarely think about the Earth this way. The Earth is something we walk on, build houses on, and drive cars over. Usually it feels inert. However, my perception of the Earth changed after I visited the big island of Hawai’i.

    On the Hilo side of the Big Island, rain forts have overtaken the lava fields.
    On the Hilo side of the Big Island, rainforests have overtaken the lava fields.

    On the eastern and southern sides of the island, vast lava fields stretch to the horizon. The lava is crumbly, dark brown, and in some places, swaths of it intersperse grassy plains. To my Midwesterner’s eye, it resembled freshly plowed fields—as if some farmer had run amok turning over the soil. Up close, the lava looks like cindery gravel and boulders.

    Lava filed on the Kona side of Hawaii.
    Lava field on the Kona side of Hawai’i

    I am fascinated by this enduring, unyielding evidence of Earth’s energy and power. The Earth erupted dozens, hundreds, or thousands of years ago, depending what part of the plain you’re viewing. Lava flowed down the side of the mountain to the sea. Where it flowed quickly, tumbling over itself, it looks crumbly like crunched up Oreos (a’a lava). Where it flowed more slowly, the lava lapped into thick swirls that resembles the crust of unfrosted brownies (pahoehoe lava).

    On the Kona side, a’a lava (like crunched up Oreos) overlaps pahoehoe lava (resemble the crust of unfrosted brownies).
    On the Kona side, a’a lava (like crunched up Oreos) overlaps pahoehoe lava (resembling the crust of unfrosted brownies).

    Though it’s easy for me to forget it or ignore it, the Earth is still volatile. Today, lava is erupting from the summit of the Kīlauea Volcano in the center of the island and flowing south from the Puʻu ʻŌʻō vent to the ocean. As the lava cools and hardens, it makes new rock, essentially forming brand new ground. Because of the Earth’s incredible energy and force, the island is expanding, gaining ground—hardly inert.

    Lava spouting from a crater in Volcano National park
    Lava spouting from a crater in Hawai’i Volcanoes National Park

    But it’s not the explosive force of molten magma I think of in yoga class. Sitting squarely on my mat in the Midwest, thousands of miles from the Hawaiian volcanoes, I now picture Earth’s energy humming beneath me. The energy that both destroys and creates. I visualize sending my irritations and fears down into the Earth to be burned away. Or drawing on the Earth’s creative force to energize me. I have gained a new connection to the Earth.

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    4 responses to “Gaining Ground”

    1. Pamela Avatar
      Pamela

      I like the way that yoga gets us to think “beyond the skin,” as my teacher said yesterday. I find it similar to the way writers think. Thanks for the reminder! Great pictures, too!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thanks! I was fascinated by the volcanoes, steam vents and lava.

    2. Eliza Waters Avatar

      A wonderful journey to awakening!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thanks! My definition of “grounded” keeps changing.


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