• When Will I Do It?

    My friend Maery did it after fracturing her shoulder at a company outing.

    My cousin Eugene did it when he ran out of staples for his office stapler.

    My sister Karen did it when COVID-19 closed the dental office where she worked.

    What did they do?

    They retired.

    But unlike me, they all had employers to retire from. They also all had a key moment when they knew it was time to do just that.

    But as a freelance writer who works for dozens of clients, there’s no one employer to retire from and since I haven’t yet had a “now’s the right time” moment, I’m still saying yes to most client work that comes my way. Thankfully, I enjoy the work…and the people I work for.

    That said, I am beginning to think more seriously about retirement and what it might look like for me.

    Despite the fact that I’ve been dreaming about (and saving for it) since I was 22, I don’t have a very clear picture. That’s one reason why, when I turned 60 three years ago, rather than celebrating with a big party, a piece of jewelry or an exotic trip, I took a one-year sabbatical.

    Though I missed having work as a way of structuring my days, I really enjoyed the downtime and the chance to unplug both personally and professionally. I also enjoyed the chance to travel for months at a time.

    Although I’ve since returned to freelancing, I now say yes only to projects I can do from anywhere at any time. That way, I still have plenty of flexibility and free time, a lot of which I just putter away. Most days that feels like exactly the right thing to do.

    Other days, I’m more engaged. I’ve also started journaling again and gotten reacquainted with art supplies I haven’t touched in years. I’m cooking some and reading more. I’m writing letters and calling friends. I’m even enjoying routine household chores, plus getting estimates for several home improvement projects.

    Increasingly, it’s these things—not my client work—that’s giving structure to my days…and no doubt moving me closer to retirement. What sign will tell me that it’s finally time? I don’t yet know, but I do look forward to finding out.

    , ,

    4 responses to “When Will I Do It?”

    1. Kim Gorman Avatar

      I once read (can’t remember where) that we should take mini-retirements (as you did) throughout our lives to rejuvenate and enjoy rather than work like crazy toward some end.

      1. Bev Bachel Avatar
        Bev Bachel

        Thanks for sharing that…makes me think it might be time to consider a mini-retirement, either at the end of this year or the start of 2021.

    2. Ellen Shriner Avatar

      Good piece! I think writers don’t retire in the classic sense of working one day and done the next. Instead, the balance gradually shifts from most of your projects/activities being initiated by others to most of your projects/activities being directed by you.

      1. Bev Bachel Avatar
        Bev Bachel

        Agreed. Cathy M once said we don’t retire, we just wake up one day and realize we no longer have any clients. The topic has been on my mind because a fellow comms pro lists her occupation as “retired” on LinkedIn.

        I have noticed a shift in my work. I used to be hired to write specific stuff (copy for a disability brochure). Now I’m hired to write what I want (a blog post on whatever topic I chose as long as it’s related to retirement). And while most of my previous work was in third person, much of my current work is in first person.

  • What Image Do I Want to Present?

    Recently, Lauren Griffiths went viral when she replaced her “professional” LinkedIn headshot with one that better reflects her current situation as a human resources consultant who’s working remotely. She proposed that looking authentic is powerful and ultimately more valuable than presenting a “perfect” image. The longstanding ideas about “looking professional” remain powerful, although many people resent and resist those guidelines. Her post led me to consider: What image do I want to project? 

    When my career was still active, I was well aware of the need to look polished. Looking younger would be even better, since the working world can be disrespectful of older women. Young was no longer possible (!) but I could manage youthful, especially if I colored my hair and wore attractive clothes and jewelry. Most women my age did the same.

    Now, as a 66-year-old woman who’s retired from paid work, I no longer need to present a professional image or look any particular way beyond what pleases me. Griffiths wanted to present a more authentic professional image; women my age confront a similar dilemma. How do we present an authentic image as older women?

    When and how do you allow signs of aging to show? Should I try to meet the world’s expectations for “attractive older woman”? In other words, look 55-ish until I’m 75? Do I try to hold the line at all costs? Should I continue highlighting my hair but skip surgery or Botox? Stop coloring my hair? Let go of the anti-aging fuss? 

    When Gloria Steinem turned 50, she threw a birthday party and declared, “This is what 50 looks like.” She looked good, which turned the idea being a crone at 50 on its head. 30 years later, she told the world, “This is what 80 looks like” while traveling in Africa—another example of aging well.

    In transition: Blonde in front. Silver coming in in back.

    My more modest version of her philosophy is to stop highlighting my hair. Pleasing myself will be the point, so I reserve the right to resume hair color if I prefer it. Either way, I will proudly say, “This is what 66 looks like.”

    , , ,

    13 responses to “What Image Do I Want to Present?”

    1. Karen Seashore Avatar

      Look at all of the comments you got — well, COVID made me do it (won’t sit in a chair for that long…) and I am now sort of blondish-greyish-whatever. I am ok with it. Still tug on the jowls when I look in the mirror….

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Yeah, I know what you mean about the jowls–a drawback about Zoom etc. –I don’t need to be reminded!

    2. Kim Gorman Avatar

      You look great! One positive outcome of covid was seeing so many women going gray. It became the “in” thing. With hair salons opened back up, I see it less and less now. But there was a kind of collective freedom in it, an opportunity to explore what many wanted but couldn’t bring themselves to do until a pandemic hit.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        You’re right. Several women I know went gray and just left it.

      2. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        You’re right. Several women I know went gray and just
        left it.

    3. Bev Bachel Avatar

      I’ve stopped coloring and cutting my hair. And am wearing a baseball cap (for the first time ever) in order to avoid dealing with it.

    4. Eliza Waters Avatar

      And lookin’ good, too! 🙂
      I often bristle at the fact that women have to jump through hoops (not to mention at great expense) to look ‘youthful’, etc. when men can just show up as is. Not right!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thanks! Silver looks good on you, too. It’s taken me a long while to land on pleasing myself is what’s most important.

        1. Eliza Waters Avatar

          Ricky Nelson wrote about that! 😉

        2. Ellen Shriner Avatar

          OMG! What a funny blast from the past :0

    5. Susanne Avatar

      66 looks good on you, Ellen, as will 67, 68…. I’ve been having a similar internal dialogue about “looks” and aging most of which sounds like a long rant about the bias in society against older women. I just finished reading a terrific book that explores this called “Flash Count Diary” by Darcey Steinke that I recommend.

      As for my “look”, my hair is shorter than short, grey and I am well endowed with wrinkles. This is who I am at 63. Lucky me!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thanks for the suggestion!

  • A Great Day for a Bike Ride

    I’m one of those people. I did a Simon Cowell. I purchased an electric bike.

    Did I use to look at those people with scorn? Wonder if they were cheating? Deem that I was getting better-quality exercise with every pedal. Could those E-bikers even call what they were doing biking?

    At the beginning of this biking season I was going strong. Biking 11 or 14 miles with Jody. We have a great route from our house to around Lake Harriet and a longer route to Lake Nokomis.

    Though I was doing well biking, I was also uncomfortable. With two knee replacements, I lost the get up and go from a dead stop. This is a problem when you are trying to move through an intersection. I also felt unsafe. I couldn’t smoothly slide my feet from the cage pedals. I had to think every stop, or I’d tip over. I replaced the pedals with platform pedals. I also wanted to sit straighter so I jimmied some handles that would allow me to do that. Nothing is pretty when I jimmy.

    Biking became not fun. I learned that two knees replacements aren’t equal. My left knee stayed on the pedal rock solid. My right knee wanted to complain about the position of my foot on the pedal. It did not have the same range of motion as the left.

    I would only go biking with Jody if it was sunny and no wind. Not even a breeze.   

    My preferred method of exercise became walking, hiking, and climbing the hills at the ski hill. I wasn’t a slouch. I often got compliments. Especially, when the telltale signs of my knee replacement scars were visible.  

    I missed biking.  Jody is a strong runner and biker. We didn’t run together. We just rode in the same car to the same spot and then had an agreed upon time to meet up. When biking, she’d bike right behind me. She would insist that my pace was fine. I was certain that I was hindering her athletic prowess.

    Since COVID, Jody and I have done a lot of walking together. She calls it her bonus steps since she has already worked out for the day. I call it my one and out.

    Do you see what this is all leading to? My birthday gift. 

    I did read Simon Cowell’s article before buying my E bike. I did read the manual. I have not fallen off my bike. I have also not done any wheelies.

    My first ride with Jody was around Lake Nokomis from our house on a very windy day. My first impression was happiness. I was five years old, it was my birthday, and my mother had just handed me a Winchester lever rife that shot plastic bullets. 57 years later, I have that same joy riding my E bike.

    At first Jody wanted me to bike in front of her like old times. That wasn’t going to work. I can bike whatever pace she is biking.

    The next day we rode 20 miles on the Cannon Falls Trail. The only tense time was when I was in front of Jody and I was waiting for her to catch up. “This is a lot of work, you know”, she said a little testily. I learned to adjust my gears after that and not assume she could go any faster.

    Since having the bike it has become my preferred exercise. There is work to an E bike. I pedal. My calf and thigh muscles work. Biking has improved my range of motion in my right knee. I can also feel more strength when climbing steps. Jody says that she gets a better workout.

    I’m now one of those people. Don’t be judgy. If you ask me, I’ll tell you, it’s like having my birthday every day.  

    ,

    5 responses to “A Great Day for a Bike Ride”

    1. Kim Gorman Avatar

      It sounds like fun and makes you happy. No judgment here! I don’t even own a bike.

    2. Bonnie and Galen Avatar
      Bonnie and Galen

      I just bought an ebike about a month ago. I love it! I especially love it on windy days while going up hills! Galen went to an etrike a couple of years ago.

      1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
        Elizabeth di Grazia

        So good to here from you Bonnie and Galen. Jody and I did 20 miles on the Cannon Falls trail yesterday with lunch in Welch. Beautiful. Will you be doing any cross country skiing this year? We’d love to get together. Thanks for reading!

    3. BJ GARLICK Avatar
      BJ GARLICK

      I love my e bike! It was the only way I could ride after my breast cancer and radiation. By the way Simon had an e motorcycle not a normal e bike I heard

      1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
        Elizabeth di Grazia

        Thanks, BJ. I’m hoping to do group rides next year on the EBike. No fear.


Recent Posts

  • Borrowed Time

    Rain hammered the passenger van, rattling the metal like gravel tossed against a tin roof. Each burst sounded closer, louder, as if the storm were trying to break its way in. Why today, of all days, when Juan was visiting his birth family? We had planned it so carefully. We’d even had a kind of…

  • From Minneapolis

    …they have cost children the life of their mother….

  • A Few of My Favorite Things

    When I feel world-weary, I actively try to turn away from the world’s troubles and focus on the many good things in my life. In addition to my family and friends, here are some things I enjoyed this past year—art, books, nature. Sorry, no raindrops on roses! When I saw this painting I wanted to…