• Healing Thoughts

    What do you say when acquaintances mention on social media that they or someone in their family has a major health issue? Often, I see some version of this phrase, “Sending you healing thoughts.” I’m curious about this trend.

    In recent years prayer seems to have morphed. People used to say, “I’ll pray for you,” meaning I’ll ask God/Yahweh/Allah to intervene on your behalf. Now when trouble strikes, the default phrases often are, “Thinking of you. Sending you healing energy.” 

    I wonder if the change comes from a wish to be respectful of another’s spiritual beliefs, however informal or nontraditional those might be?

    Or maybe people say those things when they aren’t sure of the recipient’s religious beliefs or if old-fashioned prayer will be appreciated.

    Perhaps our language of concern has changed because fewer people practice the faith they were raised in. Judging from statistics, that’s a lot of Americans. Church membership is declining.

    For formerly religious people, “Sending healing thoughts” may be more accurate than saying, “You’re in my prayers.”

    Or perhaps social media just doesn’t feel like the place to mention something as personal as religious beliefs.

    As a no-longer-practicing Catholic, I’m likely to say, “Sending you strength.” As if I can (I have no idea how or why this would work, but I want it to). At very least, I hope my friend will hear my sympathy and concern. 

    Have you noticed this shift? How do you respond when you learn an acquaintance is dealing with a health issue?

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    9 responses to “Healing Thoughts”

    1. ns Avatar

      I usually send prayers on social media. These days sending prayers seems to be occurring all too often.

    2. Eliza Waters Avatar

      Yes, it is a trend and I think you touched upon a couple key reasons. One is the decline of religious belief/attendance, and also trying to be PC when one isn’t sure of another’s beliefs. I hope that the recipient understands that it is the caring thought and not how it travels to them.
      I believe that thoughts/prayers hold an energy of attraction (‘that unto itself is drawn’), so as long as that ‘energy’ is sent forth, it will be received. There are many double blind studies that verify this. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/enlightened-living/201007/the-science-psychology-and-metaphysics-prayer It is fascinating stuff!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        I think recipients understand the concern no matter what the words are. Thanks for the link about energy and prayer! I’ll check it out.

    3. writers70pocket Avatar

      It is true, prayers seem to be more insignificant to those who change with the so called times.
      I am not embarrassed to say the word prayer, but I also like to say can I help, do something? I will check on you, etc. and simply put….love.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        I agree — whatever words you use on social media are just the start.

    4. Ellen Shriner Avatar

      I think the trend is interesting and says something about a cultural shift—certainly nothing to be “guilty of”! I know what you mean about social media responses being one of several ways we express concern.

    5. Bev Bachel Avatar
      Bev Bachel

      I have noticed (and am guilty of) this exact trend. While I often do send such responses, I also try to send a card (or several) so the person knows they remain in my thoughts.

    6. Carole Duff Avatar

      I’ve never had anyone turn down my prayers.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        I can’t imagine why anyone would want to turn down your prayers!

  • Mom at 62

    I’m 62 years old and a mom to two 18-year-olds.

    In my mind, this conjures up an old lady parenting two young spirited teens who are placed at a disadvantage. An old lady who could not possibly understand their children’s struggles and desires. An old lady completely out of touch with today’s slang, music, and dress.

    I do admit I asked Crystel what ‘Shawty’ meant a couple of weeks ago when she was cheering on Juan and friends who were competing at a Nordic ski meet. I stuck to my tried and true, “Go Spartans! Woo-hoo!!!”

    Juan and Crystel are joining with four others to hold a high school graduation party. I was a bit taken aback when discussing appropriate music for the party (preferring an absence of certain words). The six soon-to-be graduates looked back and forth at each other and quickly decided that my playlist of 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s music would be best.

    Jody is 58 years old. Unless we’re standing next to other parents at sports events, we usually don’t notice our age difference. Then, Wow those parents look so young, might pop into our heads.

    Another time it might occur is when other families are especially active going here and there: winter carnival, parades, ice castles, weekend trips. Jody and I just look at each other and shake our heads. We have no interest. We don’t take it as a sign of slowing down. We have always been that way. Sorry kids. That’s why you have chosen aunts and uncles. Crystel and her Uncle Marty participated in the ALARC ice dive this year on January 1st.

    You can find Jody and me volunteering at Juan and Crystel’s school, sports, and scout events. We’re active in the police reserves and often host get-togethers at our house or swimming pool.

    The kids never seem embarrassed that we are old. There are so many other ways that I’ve mortified them. Showing up at school unannounced to sit with them in their classroom and walk from one class to another to understand why my student couldn’t make it to the next class without being tardy. Walking into the men’s bathroom to check on my son. In my defense, I did text him and tell him that if he didn’t come out in five minutes that I was coming in. This was at a Taylor Swift concert.

    Jody and I believe it’s important to make sure your children have a heartbeat. Cliff jumping, zip gliding, and mountain climbing in Guatemala, helicopter rides over the Grand Canyon and Mount Rushmore, swimming with dolphins, hot air balloon ride, dog sledding, horse riding, mountain snowmobiling and skiing and more. If we can do it at our age, then they can, too.

    At an earlier age, you could find Jody and me sky diving, inline and running marathons, distance biking, and completing the Tough Mudder. Jody continues to run marathons. The kids had their first sky dive on Crystel’s 18th birthday. They’ve yet to complete a marathon. The old people still got it.

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    2 responses to “Mom at 62”

    1. Eliza Waters Avatar

      Happy Birthday – and many happy returns of the day!

    2. Alien Resort Avatar

      No decade comes close to the 60s and 70s for music variety.

  • Cracking the Ice

    Cracking the lacy edge of iced snow with the heel of a boot or shoe is a simple springtime ritual that reminds me of childhood—my own, my children’s, my granddaughter’s. The sun has announced its return to longer days of warming concrete, pavement, earth. There will be lots of melting and all the snow that falls after that these melting days will have a shorter life.

    This morning I watched a small red squirrel struggling for traction on ice under a parked car and felt for its lack of progress. And I laughed, although staying upright while carrying groceries to the back door or garbage out to the trash cans is still a challenge. The universal human experiences of twisting an ankle, ripping pants or landing too hard on the tailbone while innocently walking from one spot to another, can happen in March. My most painful fall of the 2019 – 2020 winter season happened late in March. While untangling the dog’s leash after eleven at night my feet slipped out as I tilted sideways. The wet dog and soaking pjs were immediately fixed. A variety of body aches took longer to go away.

    Sharp claws, sturdy boots, favorite sneakers, clamp on treads don’t guarantee smooth moving on ice. Spring melt produces the fun cracking the edge of snow, but the sneaky clear path across a sidewalk might be wet, or might smack your back end down in seconds. It is a time of year that jetpacks would be helpful. Even if you are deeply isolated from COVID with groceries delivered and others doing your errands, at some point the garbage can has to dragged curbside. As long as the temps stay low and shade covers your steps, ice can take you down.

    For those suffering from what the pandemic brings, at least a moderate winter didn’t add more suffering. Eventually we will be able to stand in our yards, alleys, boulevards and talk to others. We’ll be able to minimize the isolation and exchange stories. In the meantime, there are people out here willing to lend a hand, even if it means a walk across spring ice. Give someone a call. 


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