• “Your Moms Can Get Married Now.”

    Dsc00218I imagine someone at school saying that to Antonio and Crystel and them responding, “Huh?”

    As far as they are concerned, we are already married, and Crystel, much to her chagrin, wasn’t a part of the wedding that we had before she and Antonio came home from Guatemala. She can hardly believe that we had a life before them.

    Our wedding was 11 years ago this August. Some folks would ask us, “Is it legal?”

    It was to us. Still we had our personal wills drawn up. We weren’t leaving our children, our money, or our belongings to chance.

    Jody and I aren’t political or activists. We live our life the best that we can and hope that people will figure out that we are pretty normal. I think we have the neighbors convinced. We hold the yearly Neighborhood Night Out gathering in our backyard. We have come to think of them as normal, too. That’s what sharing a pan of brownies will do.

    DSC00234On May 13, 2013, I got a text from Jody saying, “It passed.” I was confused and sent a text back, saying, “What passed?”

    A kidney stone, a car, a semi, what??? It took an hour before it came to me.

    Since she was the one who asked me to marry her eleven years ago, I figured I better man up.

    I sent her a text, “Will you marry me? August 10, 2014?”

    Aunt Jo, Our Unity Minister.
    Aunt Jo, Our Unity Minister.

    I didn’t hear from her for a while and wondered if she was re-evaluating our relationship.

    But then came the “Yes!”

    Later with Antonio and Crystel around the dining room table, I said, “You know a law passed and your moms can get married now.”

    Antonio said, “Yeah, I know what that is. It’s the … what’s that called … same …” He was stumbling on the word “sex” and I came to his rescue. “That’s right,” I said. “It means two moms and two dads can get married.”

    “I asked Mama Jody to marry me and what do you think she said?”

    Crystel laughed leaned conspiratorially over to Jody and said, “She said, “No.” If drama is to be had, Crystel is there.

    married
    married

    “No, I did not,” Jody said, “I said “Yes.” Crystel you can be our flower girl. You always wanted to be a flower girl in a wedding.”

    “Oh, no,” I said. “She and Antonio will have to give us away.”

    In one year, twelve years from the date of our first wedding, we will be married again. This gives us plenty of time to work out the details. Save the date.

    , , , , ,

  • 5 Things I’ve Learned About Writing Blogs (Reflections at the One-year Anniversary of WordSisters)

    May 31st marks the one-year anniversary of WordSisters. Yippee! We’re still going strong. All two of us. 

    MP900341653Here are some discoveries I’ve made –

    1. Total strangers follow WordSisters. This still amazes and delights me. I figured 20 or so of our friends and family members might read the blog out of curiosity and loyalty. But we now have dozens of followers, many of whom came to us through the magic of the Interwebs and social media. How cool is that?!? Thanks for reading!
    2. Writing a blog is good discipline. Every other week when it’s my turn to blog, I have to write something. Sometimes I’m excited about it. Sometimes I’m lukewarm. But either way, I’m committed to doing this (and I can’t let Beth down), so I write. That’s a lot of blank screens. That’s a lot of words, thoughts, and stories. That’s 26 times per year that I have shared something I hoped would make you smile or think. Your comments and Likes tell us we’re succeeding.
    3. Writing a blog is different from writing a personal essay (beyond the obvious differences such as links, tags, and visuals). With the personal essays I hope to publish, I may revise 8-10 times during the course of a year or two as I refine what I’m trying to say. I think hard about meaning and style. But with blog posts, which are often meant to be timely reactions to current events, I don’t have the luxury of being so meticulous. I write more quickly and hope to get down the essence of what I want to say. I have to accept that good enough is good enough. As a former writing teacher who now writes for a living, it’s hard to let go of perfectionism. But I’ve learned that if I’m not completely satisfied with a post, well, better luck next time!
    4. I love the power of self-publishing! I love that if we think a topic or piece is worthy of your attention, we can simply put it out there.
    5. By blogging regularly, I’m creating a body of work. I hadn’t thought of this, but blogger Dan Blank had, and he wrote a guest post on Jane Friedman’s website about publishing. I think he’s right. Our blog style and content is still evolving, but looking back I can see how we each have distinctive voices and certain themes recur.

    Going forward, we hope to invite other writers to post on WordSisters and we want to make it easier to find past posts.

    Thanks for coming along for the ride!Beautiful Fireworks

    , ,

    6 responses to “5 Things I’ve Learned About Writing Blogs (Reflections at the One-year Anniversary of WordSisters)”

    1. Jean Avatar
      Jean

      Happy Anniversary, WordSisters! Ellen, Elizabeth, you two are inspiring!

    2. Wendy Skinner Avatar

      I like the cupcake. 😉

    3. Brenda Avatar
      Brenda

      Way to go! I always like reading these varied posts. They often make me think and see things in a new way. Thanks for all your work.

    4. cgparkin Avatar

      Great reflections and sentiments on the occasion of the anniversary. Well done on the past year!

    5. Pat Exarhos Avatar
      Pat Exarhos

      Congrats!! What a great accomplishment! I always look forward to Thursday morning and reading the next blog.

    6. Rosemary Davis Avatar
      Rosemary Davis

      congrats on a whole year of doing what you set out to do! I’m impressed by your discipline and determination.

  • The Importance of Friends

    Oliver and Antonio
    Oliver and Antonio

    Before Antonio’s soccer game, I told him that we wouldn’t be able to stay after the game. He groaned. Two days ago we stayed late giving him a chance to play with his friends on the field. They took turns shooting the soccer ball into the net with one of them guarding. I enjoyed watching his fun and he relished playing with his two friends.Every parent wants their child to have friends and I was delighted watching Antonio with his.

    Today, after Antonio’s soccer game his friend Oliver asked if Antonio could stay and play. “My parents will bring him home,” he said. Antonio’s eyes shone when I said, “Yes”, and he quickly became so immersed in his soccer playing that he couldn’t hear Jody saying goodbye to him.

    Nattie, Crystel, Ally
    Nattie, Crystel, Ally

    Antonio is interested in soccer this year because that is what his friends are doing during recess at school. I was shocked when both he and Crystel said they wanted to join the spring recreational league. For years, they had shown no interest.

    His coach this year, remembered Antonio when he was four years old playing soccer at YMCA.

    I sighed.

    “Antonio was more interested in sitting on your lap then playing soccer,” I said to the coach.

    The next time he played soccer he was six years old and he would come off the field during a play and say, “Crissy you go in for me.”

    Crystel and Gabby
    Crystel and Gabby

    “Antonio she not only isn’t on your team,” I said. “She’s not even signed up for soccer.” Still, no one seemed to care when she bounded on the field taking his place.Children’s friendships are important to parents. Once in a while a parent will comment that they hope their children keep the same group of friends throughout all of their school years. “It’s a great group of kids,” they will say.

    Jacob and Antonio
    Jacob and Antonio

    I must confess that I wasn’t prepared for the mother who wondered if Antonio would date her daughter-espeically since her daughter and Antonio were only in preschool. I’m sure she meant it as a compliment, but I hadn’t taken that leap in my mind yet.

    Now that the kids are ten years old, I allow myself to wonder about that occasionally.

    I am interested to see who they gravitate to in their friendships and in their ‘special’ relationships. They were both born in Guatemala and are being raised by two white women in an English speaking household. Are they drawn towards Hispanics or whites in their friendships? Who will they choose for a partner?

    Tinsae and Antonio
    Tinsae and Antonio

    Both Antonio and Crystel are attending a Spanish dual language school. This helped them be comfortable around Hispanics. I used to have to remind them that they were brown and Hispanic which is why they needed to learn Spanish.

    This past winter when the cold seemed like it would never end and they were whiny, I asked them if they would like to move to a warmer climate. They both immediately said, “No.” Their friendships have become that deep.

    I have been happy to observe that they have friends who are of mixed races, white, Hispanic, and African American. They are friends with children from divorced families, families with only one parent, and children from families who have two parents.

    In other words, they are perfectly normal.

    , , ,

    2 responses to “The Importance of Friends”

    1. Cindy libman Avatar
      Cindy libman

      The kids have really grown up and seem wonderful and healthy……hope you both enjoyed a great Mother’s Day. Cindy Libman

      1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
        Elizabeth di Grazia

        Cindy, Thank you so much for taking your time to comment on the Wordsisters post. It means a lot to me. Jody and I are doing well. A year of growth we have weathered to become closer. When it works out we will be joining one of your groups. I enjoy receiving your invites. Beth


Recent Posts

  • The Company of Others

    Six of us sitting around a table in a nice restaurant. Maybe as much as twenty years difference between the youngest and oldest. We don’t ask about age. Fish tacos, salads, a burger ordered. A few look tired, most are having a good day. One open chair because someone had to work. Serious personal challenges…

  • Easing into Fall with the Minnesota State Fair

    Buzzing cicadas signal summer’s last gasp. Cooler days and school are ahead and soon summer will officially be over. The sun is still warm but a hint of melancholy drifts in with fall’s cool breezes. Yet another summer is gone and I haven’t done everything I meant to do. But the exuberant excess of the Minnesota State Fair next…

  • Dogs and Aging Families

    Friends adopt older pets with short lifespans. But what happens if an older owner ages at the same time that at an older pet needs help?