The Ducks Will Return Without Us

Every spring, the shout goes up.

“Ducks are back!”

For thirty years, this has been a constant. Snowmelt pooled on the pool cover before spring fully arrived, and the mallards landing there every season, trusting this small temporary pond the way we trusted the house.

It could be startling, sitting quietly on the deck, reading or meditating. Then the silence would break: quacking, the whuff-whuff-whuff of cupped wings slowing descent, ducks materializing out of the sky in a downward swoop. Sharp orange feet skittering across the wet cover — slap, slap, slap, scrrrch. Splashing and rippling. Finally, the settling sounds: little shakes, bills dipping into water, softer quacks, even a low gurgle from the mother duck.

Most often it was a pair, though this year we’ve seen as many as four drakes in the pool with no hens in sight. Lately it’s been just one drake returning, again and again, during the day and evening.

I wonder if he, too, feels the pull of change.

This year, their return feels especially poignant because it is our last spring here. Our house has sold. All the rooms are empty except Crystel’s. Last in, last out, I tease her. She’ll dawdle with the ducks as long as she can until it’s time for both of them to move on.

With the cover peeled back, open for swimming, the ducks still come. Gliding across the open water, bathing, napping, resting. There will be an ending or a moving forward for us. A final day. A final jump in the pool.

Our house has a heartbeat. It is not just wood, walls, windows, and yard. Its heartbeat has been the four of us. Jody and I brought Juan and Crystel here when they were babies. We built a nest. We raised them. They pulled themselves up. Took their first steps. For twenty-four years, this house held us through changes, noise, laughter, growing up, letting go.

The house has been saying goodbye to us, too. The lilacs bloomed their fragrant light purple. The flowering crabapple tree burst open in dark pink blooms. White blossoms on the back apple tree were in full regale during the open house. Peonies bloomed in time, as if giving us one last gift.

Juan and Aryanna

I am writing this under the shade of the apple tree in the backyard. I hear the schoolchildren next door, the birds singing, the quiet drift of clouds overhead. So much is the same, even as everything is changing.

In a few days, we will close the door on making more memories here. But this is not really goodbye. The house will go on. It was alive when we came, and we have been good stewards. We filled it with love, with children, dogs and cats, hamsters, fish, and an indoor playground. Many projects were completed. Many dreams realized.

What I will miss most is not the house, the landscaped yard, or even the pool. I will miss the four people we were here: Jody, Juan, Crystel, and me. We were the pulse. The collective heartbeat.

The house will look different in thirty years. New voices will fill it. A different timbre will shout, “The ducks are back!” But the ducks will keep returning. The lilacs will bloom. The trees will flower. The house will keep beating.

And so will we.

Like the ducks we will shift to the next stage the season asks of us. We will circle back to each other, returning again and again.

Crystel's final jump
Crystel’s final jump!

Comments

8 responses to “The Ducks Will Return Without Us”

  1. Teresa Kemmer Avatar
    Teresa Kemmer

    I have so many fond memories of your house in Richfield. So many RDLS end of year school parties, an amazing race birthday party, your wedding, graduation party planning during COVID OUTDOORS in February, grad party for 6, COVID Thanksgiving together, game nights, cul-de-sac parties and more.

    Your writing brought tears, so many changes over the last 20 years. We watched our children navigate ife and they grew up and left the nest.

    Congratulations on the house sale and best of luck in the next chapter!

    1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
      Elizabeth di Grazia

      Thank you, Teresa. Our families forever intertwined. Thanks for bringing back the memories.

  2. Ann Helm Avatar
    Ann Helm

    So meany feelings and memories as I read this. Thank you for all of it.

    Ann

    1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
      Elizabeth di Grazia

      Ann, you were there when the children first came. A wonderful safe place for Juan and Crystel. Thanks for being family.

  3. mariezhuikov Avatar

    What a bittersweet time for you and your family.

    1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
      Elizabeth di Grazia

      Thank you for reading. Our timing is great for moving on.

  4. Ellen Shriner Avatar

    Just beautiful!

    1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
      Elizabeth di Grazia

      Thanks, Ellen! So glad WordSisters have been a part of the journey!

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