WordSisters

My MCL Sprain is Trying to Age Me

Elizabeth di Grazia

April 2, 2015
Years ago before I was a black belt and before the children were 2nd Dan

It’s become this independent burning sensation on the inner part of my knee.
Oh, there it is, I’ll say, when I feel it. Then I’ll take an ibuprofen.
I’ve Googled, What is that burning? Does that mean my MCL is healing? Or, that it’s getting worse? An MCL sprain is a nag.
I didn’t listen to the nag in Tae Kwon Do even though I felt a twinge in my knee that told me to take it easy. I’m not that old, I said to myself. I’ll kick my way through it. And, besides, at that point it was just a minor annoyance. I didn’t ice my knee after class because my knee would be okay the next day just like it always was.

My former self with Jody.

The next morning, I almost fell getting out of bed. I couldn’t bear my weight. Without warning I was transported to my chronological age of 56 year(s), 6 month(s), and 2 day(s).
I hobbled for weeks before I went to the doctor.
I wanted to know if I was injuring myself beyond repair for not listening to the nag and I wanted the medical term for what was badgering me.
An MCL injury is a sprain or tear to the medial collateral ligament. The MCL is a band of tissue on the inside of your knee.
I refuse to let my MCL age me.
I’ve continued to kick at Tae Kwon Do (just maybe a little slower, a little lower and a little more carefully).

I stood all night long as a Police Reserve Officer at a middle school dance (well, maybe I sat for a moment on the bleachers in the darkened gym).

I still walked 3 miles at lunch time, (okay, a few times I turned around because I didn’t think that I could walk through the pain).
Sometimes, I don’t appreciate my health until it diminishes. Then all I want is to be returned to my former self. And then I read a Facebook post about someone who has it a lot worse than me. That is where I presently am. Feeling the burn, taking ibuprofen. Putting it into perspective.
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aging, Exercise, sports injury
One response to “My MCL Sprain is Trying to Age Me”
1. Eliza Waters
  
  April 2, 2015
  
  I know your pain! Tore my meniscus a few years back, went through months of PT only to be told I needed surgery. After a year out of my life, quite frankly, never been the same. It still makes itself known if I push too far. It sucks to get old! 😀
I Never Used To Be A Quitter

Ellen Shriner

March 19, 2015
But in the last two months I’ve fired three of the books I was reading: The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert, The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd, and The Empathy Exams by Leslie Jamison.

I LOVE to read and I consume several books every month—mostly novels, memoirs, and essay collections. It stands to reason that occasionally I’ll pick up a dud. But three in a row? What’s going on?

Why I Set Aside Those Books

Each book was favorably reviewed and the subject matter sounded interesting. I expected to like the books and looked forward to reading them.

At first, I read with enthusiasm, but I stopped enjoying myself about 80 percent of the way through The Signature of All Things. I made it through only 60 percent of The Invention of Wings and about 20 percent of The Empathy Exams.

Reading historical fiction and learning about unfamiliar cultures usually appeals to me. For a while, I enjoyed those aspects in all three books. Soon, however, the level of detail each author incorporated stopped being fascinating and turned tedious. I just don’t want to know that much about moss (Gilbert), the infighting among abolitionists (Monk Kidd), or peculiar subcultures (Jamison).

I enjoy character-driven stories. Each of the book’s main character (and the narrator in the memoir-based essays in The Empathy Exams) is unusual and had the potential to be interesting. While I was curious about the main characters, each had a quality that was fundamentally off-putting. I stopped wanting to spend time with those people.

Is It Me? Is It Them? Does It Matter?

1. Life is too short. I’m not going to waste time on books I don’t enjoy. There are too many good, satisfying books I could be reading instead.

2. I no longer care why a book doesn’t meet my expectations—it’s still fired. I used to assume that if a book was disappointing, that the failing was probably mine instead of the author’s—perhaps I wasn’t intellectual or sophisticated enough.

However, in the last decade I’ve read too many mediocre books, so I no longer blame myself. Too often I’ve thought, “Wow! How did that get published?” The publishing industry has been changing rapidly in the last decade, and publishers are risk-averse. If one book is successful they try to clone it (e.g., vampire novels). Other times publishers invest in concept books in which the premise is interesting but the writing isn’t strong (e.g., The Hunger Games). Plenty of good books are still being published, but finding them has gotten harder, especially when only a handful are featured in reviews and blogs.

3. I need to rely on reviewers less. Or I need to find reviewers whose taste is more similar to mine. I read reviews of the three books mentioned earlier, and yet, I was disappointed.

I’ve learned to dig into Amazon and Goodreads’ reviews, but I disregard their suggested reading lists. Just because I read XYZ, doesn’t mean I want to read another book with the exact same subject matter.

I take the reviews in the New York Times Review of Books and Washington Post with a grain of salt (or a whole box?) Their critics are often captivated by the literary experiments some authors engage in. The book may be a clever exercise but if it fails at telling a good story, I’m disappointed.

Reading is too important to give up, but I do wish I had a better way to choose books. How do you discover the gems? Do you ever fire the books you’re reading books? Why?
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Books, Reading
10 responses to “I Never Used To Be A Quitter”
1. Words We Women Write
  
  March 23, 2015
  
  Sometimes the ‘sleepers’ (not reviewed or listed anywhere) pack the most punch. I say 50 pages are enough, either you’re hooked or not. Although I find that it may be that it’s just not the right time for that book/author. I like the notes by booksellers on the shelves of the indie stores and have favorite authors to go to. I admit to eye-rolling and foot-dragging when my book group chooses a book I know I don’t want to read. And then, it turns out, I was wrong. More than once, I must say! There are so many amazing books out there and not nearly enough time to read them all. Toni
  1. Ellen Shriner
    
    March 24, 2015
    
    You make a good point–bookseller’s remarks really help. I think I did better selecting books when I read fewer ebooks. I’m learning to dig deeper into online reviews and read samples. Not the same as holding a book in your hand though. I’ve had the same experience with my book group– good surprises from unlikely sounding choices. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
2. Eliza Waters
  
  March 20, 2015
  
  I often give up on books, there are so many out there awaiting my attention, it makes no sense to continue to slog through a poor one. I agree that publishing too readily concentrates on previous winners. I can think of many authors who are “one hit wonders” and the rest of their books disappoint.
  I often will look for prize winners like Booker, but the summary has to appeal above all. NYTimes bestsellers are mostly garbage, IMO. Our personal choices are just that, personal. So just because a book got critical acclaim doesn’t guarantee it will match our preferences.
  As a funny aside, we have a small town library that still uses index cards in the back flap for check out. There are a number of women in town that share my tastes and when I see they have checked it out before me, I often take it out, too, LOL. Many times it is a happy match!
  1. Ellen Shriner
    
    March 24, 2015
    
    I love the idea of seeing who else has checked out a book before you! Good advice about digging past the book reviews. What are you recommending these days?
    
    Eliza Waters
    
    March 24, 2015
    
    I’m currently reading The Orchardist by Amanda Coplin, an interesting mix of tragedy and hope set in early 1900s Pacific Northwest. I finally got around to read Tiger’s Wife by Tea Obreht, a blend of fantasy and reality where we ponder what exactly are the boundaries within the human mind. I also enjoyed Donna Tart’s The Goldfinch. Claire of the Sealight by Haitian writer Edwidge Danticat, was poignant. I like the way some books cause you to see the world differently.
    
    Ellen Shriner
    
    March 24, 2015
    
    Thanks for the recommendations — I’ll check out the ones I’m not familiar with!
3. Grand Ciel Branding & Design
  
  March 20, 2015
  
  Oh drat! I actually liked the “Signature of All Things” (I’m a bio geek, so I can get into mosses) and the “Invention of Wings” (I’m also a history geek). But I read them mainly because I really like each author’s writing style. Not to say each hasn’t disappointed me, too. That said, I just fired a book I picked up “Mermaids in Paradise” by Lydia Millet (I have not read her before), but noted her book was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize — how bad could it be! Turned out is was not a book for me — maybe it’s a generation thing, or the plot was turning dysfunctional. It does have me questioning literary critics, reviews and the Washington Post.
  
  Sticking with book was for when we were in school and it was required reading for a grade. Life is short and nobody is grading us on our reading tastes. ; ) At least I hope not!
  1. Ellen Shriner
    
    March 24, 2015
    
    So glad we aren’t in school doing required reading anymore! Glad you mentioned that you had a different experience with some of the books I fired– I believe those books were well crafted (and so did a lot of other people), but so much depends on the reader’s taste.
4. wendyaskinner
  
  March 20, 2015
  
  Yes. Life if too short to stick with a book if you aren’t “into” it. I too did not finish The Empathy Exams…I loved the first title essay, but for the most part was disappointed with the rest and never finished it. I think the best books have been ones friends have read and simply shared their enthusiasm afterward–not recommending it, just expression a sense of emotional satisfaction.
  1. Ellen Shriner
    
    March 24, 2015
    
    I really liked the first essay in Empathy Exams too, but lost interest after that. I love getting recommendations for friends–what are you recommending? I really enjoyed Vacationland by Sarah Stonich and All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr.
Slots and Ballads

Elizabeth di Grazia

March 13, 2015
I step to the edge with Jody. Together, we look out over the buffet of lights, the fog of cigarette smoke and become accustomed to the cacophony of bells. Are we ready to be swallowed up by the all of this? To say that we don’t have a clue about what is going on in this village is an understatement. I take her by the elbow, step forward, and commit.

Mystic Lake Casino has a 125,000 square-foot gambling floor with 4,000 slot machines and 100 blackjack tables.

We land at the Montezuma slot machine based on the ancient Aztec emperor that is sure to bring us luck. The graphics are several symbols including, Montezuma, a dragon, hawk, headdress, and a princess. The Mayan princess and pyramid draws me. Surely, that’s Crystel in the headdress and Antonio on the steps of Tikel.

Within ten minutes we have lost all of the promotional money given to us by the hotel.

Sarah McLachlan’s, Shine on Tour, is what drew us to Mystic Lakes.

Her ballads include “I Will Remember You,” “Sweet Surrender,” “Adia,” and Angel.”

She sings them all. Some of them I recognize. Mostly, I am taken in by the ambiance. Our seats are next to the sound stage. I enjoy the all of it: the audience, the music, and being seated close enough to be able to see the facial expressions of the performers.

A couch is on stage but even before McLachlan has audience members join her, I feel at home and as if I know her and want to know her even better. At one point during her show I get up to use the restroom but return when I realize it is a song I recognize. All the other women my age must have done the same thing.Her next song is new and a bathroom line quickly forms.

The ballad that makes me cry is one of her last songs: “Beautiful Girl.” It is a song about her almost 13-year old girl. I immediately think of Crystel.

We’re gonna push on through, pretty girl
Just like we always do, beautiful girl
I know the world can be cruel, pretty girl
You’re gonna make it ’cause you’ve got love on your side
The truth of letting go
Lies in the answer
That when the storm subsides
I’ll still be there to hold you

Our selfie at the show

The next morning before we leave we have $25 in promotional cash to spend. Jody and I watch the reel roll two times. 7’s and Jokers go around and around. Then stop.

We stare dumbly at the $84 dollar sign that is on the screen.

There is only one thing to do. Cash out.

The $84 dollars is used to pay the babysitter.

Though this village is perplexing we will return again. It was a great date night.
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Casinos, Date night, gambling, Music
One response to “Slots and Ballads”
1. Jody diGrazia
  
  March 13, 2015
  
  Nice story!!!
  
  Date: Fri, 13 Mar 2015 12:41:18 +0000 To: jdigrazia22@msn.com