• Peering Past the Red Velvet Rope

    While vacationing in the Hudson River Valley, my husband and I toured Kykuit, Rockefeller’s lavish summer home; Val-Kill, Eleanor Roosevelt’s modest cottage; and the Hancock Shaker Community’s very plain dormitories.

    Mindful of the red velvet ropes and little fences that kept us from exploring/trespassing, we craned our heads around doorways, peered into corners, and tried to imagine the lives lived there. Despite the tour guides’ colorful stories, sometimes it was hard to breathe life into those rooms. Occasionally, my mind drifted, and I entertained myself by imagining what a future tour guide would say about my home after I’ve achieved some unspecified (and as yet unattained) notoriety.

    No doubt, future tourists leaning across the velvet rope blocking entrance to my office will say, “Ooooh, that’s where Ellen used to write! There’s the honey locust she used to look at while she wrote, and there’s the sad clematis on the too-big trellis—remember her blog about defensive landscaping?” 

    The tour guide might add, “To preserve historical accuracy, we left the pile of mail on the loveseat. Family stories mention that she used to let it ‘age’ for up to two weeks before she dealt with it.” Visitors will chuckle and some of the more avid ones will lean in to snap photos of the mail pile.

    “And over there—a see the cat bed on the radiator? Her cat, Pinky, kept her company on cold Minnesota afternoons. Maybe he was even her muse as she struggled to revise her blogs and essays.” The tourists will jostle each other to take pictures of the cat bed.

    The guide will probably point out, “Some of the furniture is antique—like the Mission style oak desk. Supposedly Ellen refinished it when she first moved to Minnesota years before she moved here for good. It was the only desk she ever used.” One of the visitors will probably sigh in appreciation. “We believe that she might have been sitting in that beat-up office chair when she received the call about winning the MacArthur Genius Grant/Nobel Peace Prize/Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.” More clicking cameras and cell phones.

    “Next, we come to the music room, where Ellen’s husband composed his opus . . . .” The tourists will dutifully shuffle across the hall to oooh and ah.

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    6 responses to “Peering Past the Red Velvet Rope”

    1. bbachel Avatar
      bbachel

      Love your mail pail…makes me feel better about mine…and the fact that I just missed a baby shower because of it.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Yeah, the mail pile is chronic. And plenty of things take care of themselves . . . like that gallery opening last week. Hmmm. Looks like I missed it 😉

    2. Susanne Avatar

      Everyone needs a dream and I hope yours comes true! And I love your writing place with that window to gaze out and woolgather. As Alice Munro said: “I can’t play bridge. I don’t play tennis. All those things that people learn, and I admire, there hasn’t seemed time for. But what there is time for is looking out the window.”

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Yeah, I spend a lot of time looking out the window, and when it doesn’t lead to noticing yard work I should be doing, it leads to writing!

    3. Eliza Waters Avatar

      Love this, Ellen. An exercise that all of us should do. What if…? and let the dreams come.

  • Had I Prepared My Daughter?

    Photo by Uncle Scott

    My 14-year-old daughter was half way to Wisconsin Dells with girlfriends for a birthday party when my gut tightened.

    The party was a sleepover. She’d be gone for a couple of nights.

    Maybe it was the distance that was the source of the fear. Maybe it was because it would be a couple of nights. Maybe it was her age. Maybe it was how beautiful she is. Maybe it was her innocence. Maybe it was her growing independence, her getting out into the world. There would be more days away from home. There would be longer distances.

    Had I prepared her for an unwelcomed glance or touch? Was she prepared if that would happen? How would she respond?

    I could almost hear her nervous giggle.

    What if it became an unwanted advance?

    I put myself in her place. My body froze. That’s what I knew how to do.

    It helped when I thought of how differently Jody and I had raised our daughter from how I was raised. Even from a very young age, she was taught that her body was hers. She was taught that she had every right to expect privacy. She was taught that it was okay to lock the bathroom door. She was taught that it was okay to lock her bedroom door. She was taught that she had every right to expect respect. She was taught to say, “No”.

    This calmed me.

    If my daughter wasn’t respected she would recognize that. She knew what respect was.

    That’s what Jody and I had given her. Her ability to recognize a danger signal by showing her acceptable behavior in our home.

    This calmed me.

    I realized that Jody and I had taught her a lot of things. We taught her love, and therefore she will expect love. We taught her kindness, and empathy, and to be herself. We taught her to dream. We taught her to travel domestically and internationally and to do so safely.

    We’ve also taught her that it is okay to be alone, to feel pain, and sadness.

    Most importantly we’ve taught her she can always come home. We are home.

    She will travel far.

     

    One response to “Had I Prepared My Daughter?”

    1. Ann Coleman Avatar

      That’s just beautiful, Elizabeth! I think you and Jody had prepared your daughter very well, and while it’s normal for mothers to feel anxious, I have a feeling your daughter is going to be just fine.

  • Looking for a Good Book?

    WordSisters is adding a new feature—a completely idiosyncratic mini book review/recommendation that will appear every now and then.

    The bookThere Your Heart Lies by Mary Gordon

    What attracted me? I’ve read several of Mary Gordon’s novels (The Company of Women, Final Payments) and think she’s a good writer, but I haven’t read anything of hers lately, so I was curious. Also I was pretty sure that Mary Gordon wouldn’t have written a romance novel, which is sort of what the title sounds like—a bit of misdirection.

    The premise – When Marian, a woman in her nineties, is diagnosed with cancer, she shares her secret past with her granddaughter, Amelia. Marian is closer to Amelia than any of her other relatives, and Amelia is caring for Marian while she sorts out her life after college.

    Amelia envisions that the secret past she is about to discover will be quaint and charming, perhaps involving flapper dresses and smoking. Instead, she learns her grandmother volunteered as an ambulance driver and nurse during the Spanish Civil War along with her idealistic Communist Party friends. Marian’s time in Spain has far-reaching consequences, which affect Amelia.

    What appealed to me – Marian and Amelia are likable characters, and I liked the idea of their close connection. Marian’s story dominates the book and her reactions are often surprising, which made her more interesting. Amelia is less well developed but still a believable character (Gordon could have done more with her), has her own coming-of-age moment.

    The plot takes some unexpected turns (that’s good), and I learned a lot about the history and politics in Spain that resulted in the atrocities perpetrated by Franco’s fascist forces as well as those committed by the resistance fighters. Aside from Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls, I knew very little about the Spanish Civil War, so Gordon’s novel illuminated that time for me.

    What books do YOU recommend?

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    6 responses to “Looking for a Good Book?”

    1. Susanne Avatar

      I like the premise of the novel in part because I’ve been thinking a lot about how young people perceive their elders. I just started reading a classic: Canticle for Liebowitz. I don`t read sci-fi often but this one grabbed me with the first paragraph.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Wow! I haven’t thought about that book in long while. I liked it way back when I first read it . . .wonder what I’d think now. Thanks for reminding me!

    2. Ann Coleman Avatar

      That sounds very interesting! As for me, I’m currently enjoying Tana French’s mysteries set in Dublin.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thanks for the recommendation!

    3. Lynne Maker Kuechle Avatar
      Lynne Maker Kuechle

      I’m in the middle of “The Lacuna” by Barbara Kingsolver and I love it. Beautiful writing, interesting plot, and I’m learning some history as well.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        I read that and really liked it! I enjoyed the historical aspects too.


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