Category: Friends

  • Another way to see the Minnesota State Fair

    2013 MN State Fair
    2013 MN State Fair

    A few weeks ago, Ellen, wrote about her experience of the Minnesota State Fair.

    Jody and I were not loyal fair goers until we had the children. Crystel’s birthday falls on September 4 and the State Fair soon became an activity that we incorporated into her birthday week.  You might expect that a middle-aged person and an 11-year-old girl see the State
    Fair differently.  Because it is part of her birthday celebration, Crystel chooses what we see and the order in which we see it.

    7-years old with his turkey leg.
    7-years old with his turkey leg.

    Over the years not much has changed. Aunt Amie continues to accompany us as she has done every year.

    Since we often enter the fair from the west side the children’s barn is our first stop. Antonio and I skip it, using this time to get our turkey legs – regardless of the hour.

    This year, Crystel stopped in the barn only long enough to snap a picture of a cow for Mama Beth, who grew up on a farm with 50 cows. The kids don’t understand the distinction between growing up on a farm and being born in a barn, so
    they usually tell people the latter about their mother. . . and Jody doesn’t
    correct them.

    Butterfly garden at age 7
    Butterfly garden at age 7

    Even though Aunt Amie is a vegetarian she doesn’t scrunch up her nose at us devouring our humongous turkey legs.

    Taking a right, we walk immediately to the Haunted House. I sometimes think the haunted house is the only reason we come to the fair.

    Crystel has gotten big enough that she can no longer ride on Aunt Amie’s back digging her head into her shoulder blades so she can’t see what she doesn’t want to see. Now she’s progressed to walking next to Aunt Amie, though I can’t tell you what exactly happens inside the haunted house.  I am the keeper of bags, purses, and extra clothes who sits outside contentedly people-watching. What happens inside the haunted house stays inside the haunted house.

    After ugly comes pretty. The butterfly garden is a must after the haunted house. Crystel’s yearly goal is to see how many butterflies’ she can get on her person.

    Butterfly garden at 9-years-old. The hat is to draw more butterflies.
    Butterfly garden at 9-years-old. The hat is to draw more butterflies.

    This is cotton candy time for me and Antonio.

    The Giant Slide is the first time that Aunt Amie and Jody get a breather. I grab a gunny sack and follow the children.

    If our timing is right, there might be a dog show to see after the Giant Slide.

    Nothing is better than your own bag of cotton candy.
    Nothing is better than your own bag of cotton candy.

    By now, we have eaten snow cones, corn dogs, deep fried cheese curds, deep fried battered vegetables, sweet corn, and Sweet Martha’s cookies. Time for the Midway and a couple of rides.

    We have one last item to do before leaving the fair. That is to get Aunt Amie wet on the log chute. It’s not the State Fair if she goes home dry.

    As you see we have not visited one educational building, saw not one piece of fine art, or watched any fair animals being judged. Maybe next year.

    2010 State Fair
    2010 State Fair

    This year, I visited the State Fair like a child.

  • Lifelong Friends

    After nearly five months of studying abroad in Spain, my youngest son returned, speaking Spanish like a pro, with his head full of the many sights he’d seen and the experiences he had. The culture shock of being back in the U.S. wasn’t what was hardest for Greg; rather, it was the realization that he will rarely see the many friends he made in the study abroad program—they live scattered all over the U.S.

    Greg and friends in Spain
    Greg and friends in Spain

    Together, they endured the stress of being lost and clueless in a foreign city. They had the pleasure of discovering Roman ruins, Moorish palaces, Mediterranean beaches, and amazing meals. They stayed in sketchy hostels and traveled hungover on smelly buses. They saw each other at their worst and liked each other anyhow.

    “Don’t worry. You’ll see them again,” my oldest son reassured him.  About a month ago, Mike had been in Los Angeles on business where he reunited with several friends he’d made when he studied in Italy three years ago. Over breakfast, Mike and his friends traded stories about the Real Jobs they’ve acquired and caught up on who’s seeing whom. But more importantly, they didn’t take themselves too seriously—they never have.

    Mike and friends in Italy
    Mike and friends in Italy

    “You’ll be surprised how easy it is to pick right up where you left off,” he said.

    I added, “There’s no reason you can’t be friends for life. The person you are in your 20’s is your essential self—you and your friends will still be those people 30 years from now.”

    I can speak from experience. Several weeks ago, I met up with three friends I’ve known since I was in my 20’s: Pam, Rich and Sue (husband and wife). Together, we experienced the culture shock of moving from decent-sized cities to a small college town on the prairie. We muddled through our first full-time teaching jobs in a dysfunctional English department. We entertained ourselves by creating musical alter egos—a girl band called Pam and the Pamettes who were managed by Señor Grif, a.k.a. Rich. We planned spicy Mexican potlucks to heat up the long Minnesota winters. We shared poetry, short stories, and complaints.

    More than 30 years later, we are the same in all of the important ways. Although I haven’t seen Rich and Sue in more than 10 years, the four of us were immediately at ease with each other. We’re still true-blue liberals, who love art, good books and good food.

    Pam, Rich and Sue
    Pam, Rich and Sue

    As the antidote to a sobering conversation about coping with aging parents, Rich pretended to be a character called the Know-It-All Guy whose job is giving extemporaneous lectures (i.e., making up stuff about silver mining or the habits of dolphins). We laughed till our stomachs hurt. Pam and Rich riffed about the K-I-A Guy for days while Sue rolled her eyes and I egged them on—exactly the kind of silly fun we’ve always had.

    I’m grateful to have these lifelong friends gracing my life.  With any luck, my sons will have lifelong friendships like these, too.