Be Safe. Don’t Die.
I was half way out the door when I heard, “Be safe. Don’t die.” It was Crystel’s voice. I cringed. She was 12-years-old. I thought of turning around to tell her not to say that. That it would be ‘nicer’ to say, “I love you.”
I paused. She was sincere. I didn’t say anything.
Instead, I asked myself backing out of the driveway, “Why am I uncomfortable? That it’s true? That at any moment I could die, be in a car accident, be shot in an airport, or fall on the Minnesota ice?”
Be safe, don’t die, has all the realness one can ask for in an adieu. It means, “I want to see you again. It means, don’t leave me. It means, I want you to come home.”
Jody remembers that it was after Crystel saw the movie, “If I Stay,” that she started saying, “Be Safe, Don’t Die.”
It was as if she understood that death happens. That people could leave their home and their life could forever be altered.
In the movie, life changes in an instant for Mia after a car accident puts her in a coma. During an out-of-body experience, she must decide whether to wake up and live a life far different than she had imagined. The choice is hers if she can go on.
Crystel is 14 now. She’s still telling me and her other family members to be safe and not to die. I find this comforting. She wants me around. She doesn’t want me to disappear from her earth. “Be safe. Don’t die,” has all the fondness of an “I love you.”
Now, Jody and I also tell her, “Be safe. Don’t die.” Our way of telling her that we love her.
Comments
3 responses to “Be Safe. Don’t Die.”
You’re right: it sounds a bit morbid at first, but if you pay attention to the actual message, “Be safe, don’t die” is actually very sweet! I remember when my own (often rather prickly) 12-year old daughter first starting saying “Love you,” when she was leaving, or at the end of a phone call. I was puzzled, because that was a new one. Then I spoke to the mothers of a few of her friends, and it turns out their daughters were saying it as well, because they had seen a movie where the main character’s mother dies. Sometimes, accepting the reality of death is a good thing, I think!
Yep. We have a daughter like that too and she’s very polite about it. It’s “Please don’t die.”
My son didn’t like my version – ‘Be careful driving’ for some reason. Now I say,
‘Stay safe, I love you’ and that seems acceptable!