WordSisters

Tag: retirement

  • I Like to Laugh

    Valentine’s Day dance

    I like to laugh. Uproariously. I like to banter. When words or actions touch my heart, I like to cry. I savor conversations that lead me to your spirit and you to mine. I want to feel safe.

    Jody and I found a welcoming community where we belong. Our spirits, the essence of who we are, no longer need to be hidden. Our sense of being different has melted away. We fit.

    On our arrival, several Minnesotans stopped by our RV lot, gave us a dern-tootin’, you betcha Minnesooota hello. “Dun-chya-no, dere’s a dance dis evening at the clubhouse. Yah. Yah. You wanna come wid?”

    Shortly after we met a lady walking her dog. After chatting, we realized we had found ourselves a dog sitter.

    Winter games, one week of competitive fun play, started the day after our arrival. Variations of ping pong, billiards, shuffleboard, bocce ball, corn hole, mind games and kids’ games kept us busy from morning to night. Over 120 community members participated. All organized by volunteers.

    The Resort encompasses fifty acres and features 278 homes and RV lots. Many overlook freshwater lakes, conservation areas and preserves.

    What’s not to like?

    The Resort is a predominately lesbian, gated community.

    I wondered what our son and daughter would think of us owning an RV lot here. Would they feel welcomed? Would friends, relatives, nieces and nephews, want to visit? How would I feel living 24/7 in a community of women? Was I essentially gating myself from the outside ‘real’ world? Was I labeling myself a lesbian? (I hate labels).

    These questions bothered me. I listened to my body. Paid attention to how I felt when joining activities, walking the dogs, and visiting residents. Jody and I discussed on many occasions the path that brought us here.

    What I like most about The Resort is the feeling of acceptance regardless of age, body size, clothes style, or how you look. Friendliness awaits as soon as you step out of your house or RV. Waving Hi, saying hello, is natural and expected. The Resort is safe. I can be myself. I can have meaningful conversations.

    My unease finally came to rest when I determined that Jody and I did well for ourselves. The Resort is a wonderful resting place for our spirits. We enjoy the camaraderie and budding friendships. What matters most is that it is a place for us.  It’s a home where we are comfortable and laugh often.

  • Why I Need a Retirement Mentor

    Three-plus decades ago, friend and fellow writer Cathy Madison told me something that has stuck with me ever since: that when you’re self-employed, which I have been since my mid-20s, you never really retire, you just wake up one day and realize all of your clients are gone.

    That day hasn’t yet come, but I can see it beginning to dawn. Fewer clients, smaller projects. But I’m not complaining. In fact, I’m largely to blame as I now only say yes to projects I can do from anywhere at any time, without having to schedule calls, log on to online meetings or drive across town for in-person ones. 

    Several years back, on the advice of a few older colleagues , I decided to test drive my retirement. I spent one Minnesota winter in Panama. I lived with my sister Diane and her family another winter. And one spring I enjoyed six weeks in Paris courtesy of a friend who loaned me her Latin Quarter apartment.

    I also found a few retirement mentors. They, of course, include my fellow Word Sisters, all of whom were a bit ahead of me in embracing retirement. They also include Joe Casey, host of the Retirement Wisdom podcast. Not only did I learn a lot from him and his guests, he hired me to write for his blog, giving me the motivation (and a bit of income) to learn more about retirement—the pros and cons, the ups and downs—than I might have had my own.  

    Here are a handful of things I’ve learned that might be helpful to you:

    • Retirement is not a one-size-fits-all journey. Some want relaxed days without a schedule while others are actively working through a bucket list.
    • Money matters, but not always as much as you might think. How much money you have can bolster or constrain the size of that journey. What matters more are your own personal tastes, hopes and dreams.
    • Accountability counts. One of the biggest challenges I and many of my fellow retirees face is staying disciplined. Why do today what we can put off until tomorrow? But I’ve learned the hard way that while leaving things until tomorrow may feel good today, there will eventually be a price to pay. Checking in regularly with friends and family can help. So can having a mentor or goal buddy.
    • Your health: here today, gone tomorrow. Although both my parents died when they were 70—my dad a year after a lung cancer diagnosis, my mom in an instant due to a heart attack—I always thought I’d grow old like my grandmother and die in my sleep some years after celebrating my 90th  birthday. However, since turning 65, I’ve experienced a number of health issues, all minor thankfully, but they’ve made me realize I’m just a diagnosis away from something more serious. So now is the time to make the most of my time.   
    • Staying socially active really does matter. After being unplugged since the start of COVID, I have begun reconnecting with friends in person. A visit with a friend at her house two months ago led to having dinner in a restaurant with another friend, and this eve I’m meeting a third friend for a work-related reception followed by a movie.

    Retirement is a significant life transition that requires careful planning and consideration. While it can be tempting to go it alone, having a retirement mentor (or several!) can provide numerous benefits. From personalized guidance and experience-based insights to accountability, emotional support and help avoiding common pitfalls, my mentors have become trusted companions on my retirement journey, one my future self will thank me for.

  • When Will I Do It?

    My friend Maery did it after fracturing her shoulder at a company outing.

    My cousin Eugene did it when he ran out of staples for his office stapler.

    My sister Karen did it when COVID-19 closed the dental office where she worked.

    What did they do?

    They retired.

    But unlike me, they all had employers to retire from. They also all had a key moment when they knew it was time to do just that.

    But as a freelance writer who works for dozens of clients, there’s no one employer to retire from and since I haven’t yet had a “now’s the right time” moment, I’m still saying yes to most client work that comes my way. Thankfully, I enjoy the work…and the people I work for.

    That said, I am beginning to think more seriously about retirement and what it might look like for me.

    Despite the fact that I’ve been dreaming about (and saving for it) since I was 22, I don’t have a very clear picture. That’s one reason why, when I turned 60 three years ago, rather than celebrating with a big party, a piece of jewelry or an exotic trip, I took a one-year sabbatical.

    Though I missed having work as a way of structuring my days, I really enjoyed the downtime and the chance to unplug both personally and professionally. I also enjoyed the chance to travel for months at a time.

    Although I’ve since returned to freelancing, I now say yes only to projects I can do from anywhere at any time. That way, I still have plenty of flexibility and free time, a lot of which I just putter away. Most days that feels like exactly the right thing to do.

    Other days, I’m more engaged. I’ve also started journaling again and gotten reacquainted with art supplies I haven’t touched in years. I’m cooking some and reading more. I’m writing letters and calling friends. I’m even enjoying routine household chores, plus getting estimates for several home improvement projects.

    Increasingly, it’s these things—not my client work—that’s giving structure to my days…and no doubt moving me closer to retirement. What sign will tell me that it’s finally time? I don’t yet know, but I do look forward to finding out.