WordSisters

Category: Uncategorized

  • 80. Feels like 90.

    We were planning to have dinner outside and listen to a musical group. Should be an ideal evening with temps in the very low 80s. Even the mosquitos have called a partial truce. One bad apple in the perfect plan is humidity which is making 80 feel like 90. The second bad apple is a gradual lowering of Canadian wildfire smoke into Wisconsin’s Northern zones.  Iced tea will melt quickly, clothes will stick, and someone will begin coughing or wheezing. 

    The morning was excellent after a rough bunch of storms and rain cleaned out the atmosphere last night. Walking on a nearly empty beach at ten this morning with bright blue sky and sparkling water felt like a summer dream. The toddler with us, spending her first days of walking into very shallow Lake Michigan waters, celebrated with digging in the sand, pouring water on anything, jumping tiny waves with help from adults. Two hours for summer 2023 memories.

    That’s how the whole season has played out—like slurping a slug of pickle brine from your glass of lemonade. Do you dump the drink, try to add something in hopes of a more enjoyable beverage, or accept the situation?

    Or is the pickle brine just an emotional reminder of the true state of the bigger world—global warming and the U.S. state of unrest? Keeping to a summer theme is challenging and heading to dinner out with music in the background, even in sauna-like conditions could provide relief from week’s tensions.

    Then the heavens opened. Rain lashed against windows. Wind whipped flowers and trees. Thunder rumbled over the bay waters. Power went out at the restaurant. So, we ate leftovers at our kitchen table, talking and laughing at what the toddler was trying to say. Temperatures dropped to low 70s as storms disappeared. The gift of a typical summer experience. No pickle brine in the last of the lemonade.

  • Sandwich Party!

    Before surgery I read up on painkillers. Bottom line, I was grateful that options existed and realistic about accepting possible reactions. Jimmy John’s sandwiches were never mentioned in that patient information.

    My first night post-operative I looked around my room, stared into what I thought was a giant security television screen (aka a dark window), pulled together all the visual clues available, and determined that there was a sizeable Jimmy John’s sandwich party happening across the hall. Giant carts of food appeared to be going into a room with people following. I thought I saw, or heard, that the party was in honor of my surgeon. 

    Not eating in the prior thirty hours made a sandwich appealing. I think I’ve only eaten a Jimmy John’s tuna salad special at a corporate lunch meeting. I remember because I was the last person choosing a box. Tuna salad, tuna salad, tuna salad. Three boxes of the same choice. The only decision was if I was hungry enough to eat a Jimmy John’s tuna salad sandwich.

    According to hospital people watching me that night, I decided I needed to freshen up before heading to the party and attempted to get out of bed dragging tubes and lines and monitors. I asked for a clean gown, something less revealing, and my personal bag so I could brush my hair, wash my face, and find my undies. I was ready to socialize. Maybe celebrate that surgery was over, chat about the joy of warm blankets, or share escape plans.

    What’s fascinating is how in a somewhat dark situation, something deep in my mind took stock of what it could observe and found the potential for a few minutes of joy as well as the possibility of grabbing a sandwich, maybe a cold soda, and a little time to chit chat with absolute strangers. I am an introvert, and not fond of fast foot sandwiches on small loaves of bread. In normal times I would need a serious reason to head into a room of strangers, especially if wearing a lousy hospital gown. But that night a party sounded awesome.

    Physicians have known since Plato that there is a direct correlation between the mind, body and health. The psychological and physical are not separate but are vitally linked in healing the body. When the painkillers were not taking care of what my body was experiencing, my simple belief is that my mind accepted responsibility for creating a happier framework. In the absence of other stimuli to distract focus from what was hurting, I planned that party room. I made decisions about whether I was ready to have chips (not), if a diet cola or a lemon-lime soft drink would taste better (lemon-lime), how to blend in with all the people in uniforms or street clothes (unresolved). My problem solving and creativity pulled me through a night that could have been worse. 

    This is the power of human vitality. We can live, grow, develop in many situations, not only on sunny days but also during threatening storms. Be gentle with your expectations if this is not a time to go for the stars. Share a Jimmy John’s with a friend. Enjoy a mini party, if only in your mind. Wear a robe if your gown hangs open in the back.

  • Paying Attention: The Importance of Being Present

    We live in a world full of distractions. From our smartphones to our busy schedules, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. But what happens when we’re so preoccupied that we fail to notice what’s right in front of us?

    In this now-famous experiment, a group of participants is asked to pass a basketball to one another while counting the number of times they pass it. In the midst of all the action, a person in a gorilla suit walks through the scene, but only a tiny percentage of participants actually notice. Participants were so focused on their assigned tasks, counting the passes, few noticed the gorilla.

    The experiment serves as a powerful reminder that we can be so focused on completing our solo tasks, formulating an answer, or on our desire to succeed that we fail to take the opportunity to laugh at the gorilla in the room. The gorilla could just as well have been a child smiling at us, an oriole landing outside our office window. There’s a time to focus and a time to look up and enjoy life and each other.

    It’s not just about noticing gorillas, though. Being present and paying attention can have a significant impact on our relationships, our work and our overall well-being. When we’re not fully engaged with the people and things around us, we miss out on opportunities to connect, learn and grow.

    So, how can we cultivate a greater sense of presence and awareness in our lives? Here are a few tips my friends and colleagues have found helpful:

    • Put down your phone. We’ve all heard this one before, but it’s worth repeating. Our phones can be a major source of distraction, pulling us away from the present moment, the book we are reading and the people we are with.
    • Be mindful. Even just a few minutes of mindfulness meditation each day can make a big difference in our ability to stay focused and present.
    • Take breaks. It’s easy to get caught up in the go-go-go of modern life, perhaps even easier now that I’m working less than full-time and have a more erratic schedule. But taking a quick walk around the block or spending a few minutes concentrating on my breath makes it easier to pay attention.
    • Embrace life’s transitions. Life is a series of transitions, and that’s especially true as we age. We go from being a student to working full-time, from being single to having kids and grandkids, from being a parent to becoming an empty-nester, from focusing on our work to enjoying retirement.
    • Prioritize self-care. Taking care of ourselves becomes especially important as we age so we need to dedicate time to nurturing our physical, mental and emotional well-being, whether that’s meeting a friend for dinner, taking a bath or spending time in nature.

    At the end of the day. Paying attention is about more than just noticing gorillas. It’s about being fully present in our lives in the world around us. When we’re able to do that, we open ourselves up to new experiences, deeper connection and a greater sense of fulfillment. And what could be better than that?