WordSisters

Category: death

  • 3-legged Cat

    3-legged Cat

    Antonio talking with Silver
    Antonio talking with Silver

    “I think we should put him down,” Antonio said through sobs. “I don’t want him to be in pain.”

    I never thought that I’d ever hear him say those words. This was his cat he was talking about. His Silver. I had recently written a blog post about Silver and his sister, Oreo.

    A coyote had crushed Silver’s back leg. We were looking at amputation.

    I put my arm around Antonio and rested my head on his. Through tears I told him how very brave he was. Jody echoed the same sentiment.

    How brave it was for him to see past his own want, his own need, to the life of his beloved pet.

    And, to his death.

    Antonio had experienced the death of two cats and a dog. Instead of the experience being tragic he participated in a welcoming end to a precious animal’s life. All of us, Jody, Crystel, Antonio, and me cried through each of the deaths and loved our companions to their last breath. The two cats and dog were either in our arms or one or two of us were lying next to the animal. Then we buried our buddy. Each taking turns shoveling the dirt.

    The Boys
    The Boys

    Thank you MNpets for coming to our home, always making it easy and giving us just the right amount of privacy. I believe Antonio’s experience with dying has made him able to see past his sorrow to the restfulness of a pet who will no longer have to suffer.

    Jody, Antonio, and I sat on the couch reminiscing about each companion that had died. Tears rolled down our cheeks. We talked about why we made the decision we did with each animal. You knew it was time.

    I told Antonio that I wasn’t sure that it was Silver’s time. Silver had continued to eat. An indication that he wanted to live. Antonio needed to talk to him. Spend time with him and see what Silver told him.

    “He’ll tell you,” I said. “You guys can talk. “

    We pulled out the computer and read about the quality of life for a three-legged animal. We watched YouTube videos of three-legged cats.

    In preparation for amputation, Jody and I gave Silver pain and nerve medicine as well as antibiotics every 8 hours.

    When Monday came, Jody and I discussed how we needed to leave work and meet at home for Silver’s noon medicine. Antonio offered to get out of school. That was a possibility. We live next door to Richfield Middle School.

    Silver our 3-legged cat
    Silver our 3-legged cat

    Looking ahead to Silver’s recovery after amputation, we talked about complications. Medicine might be needed on a regular basis and I was scheduled to be out of town.

    “I can do it,” Antonio said.

    “Are you sure?” I asked. “One person has to keep Silver’s mouth open and the other has to squirt the syringe or put the pill in his mouth.”

    “I can do whatever it takes,” he said with certainty.

    And, you know what, I believe him.

     

     

     

     

     

  • On Loving (and Losing) Pets

    Cat and dog lovers give our hearts to our pets without reservations.

    When we begin a new relationship with a person, experience has taught us to take care with our hearts. But with a new dog or cat, we don’t worry if they’ll like us back, if they are willing to commit, if they will ever cheat on us, or if we’ll outgrow each other. We know they’ll love us wholeheartedly.

    My Tasha
    My Tasha

    We allow ourselves to be caught up—they’re so cute, sweet, and funny—that we can easily lose all sense of perspective. But we’re enjoying them too much to care if the anecdotes we tell about them have become tedious.

    We overlook how annoying our pets are—the messes, the whining, the way they eat stuff they shouldn’t, wreck our things, chew/scratch/claw—it’s all OK, because we’re besotted.

    We worry about their health, pay hundreds of dollars in vet bills, fuss over special foods, and adapt our schedules so we can take care of ailing pets.

    Ultimately, we agonize over end-of-life decisions: Do we have the right to keep them going even when they’re sick and in pain, because we aren’t ready to lose them? How will we know when they’ve had enough? How can we bear to part with them?

    Despite knowing we will likely outlive our pets, we willingly take on the cycle of loving/caretaking/loss, because our pets give us so much joy. Unreservedly.

    For anyone who has lost a beloved pet recently—especially Beth, Pam, Margo, Becky, and me.

  • SHE LOST HER PURR

    Spirit
    Spirit

    After Kor Am Tae Kwon Do class, Antonio, Jody, and Crystel bustle inside. Soon I hear, plop, plop, boom as workout bag after workout bag bounces off the basement steps and lands on the bottom.  Antonio walks over to where I’m sitting, my hand lying on Spirit.

    “Did you brush Spirit?” Antonio asks.

    “Yeah, I forgot she was dead.”

    He laughs. It helps to have a sense of humor when your pet has just died.

    This is the first time Antonio and Crystel been old enough to understand the death of a pet.

    JoJo and Angel
    Angel and JoJo

    JoJo died on Crystel’s 4th birthday, but this was after Jody and I visited the vet for the sick cat. While burying JoJo in the backyard, I told the children that animals and people don’t die completely, but their spirit lives on, so you could pet their energy. I thought all was going well for the 4-year olds, and I was especially touched when they asked permission to pet JoJo. I said, yes, and had an image of them floating their small hands in the air, caressing him above his grave. Fortunately, I looked out the window before they had shoveled JoJo back up. My spiritual talk flew right up to heaven past their little heads.

    Now that they are 11, they could participate in Spirit’s death. Two hours earlier, all of us including our two dogs and other cat, were surrounding Spirit as Dr. Rebecca from MN Pets talked about the process. Earlier in the day I had asked for referrals. MN Pets as well as Animal House Call Service were recommended.I didn’t want Spirit to go one more day in pain.

    My morning routine with Spirit was for her to sit on my lap. She’d crane her neck to give me a head butt. I’d brush under her chin where she liked it the most while listening to her purr. Jody had an evening routine that involved Spirit curling between her legs as she brushed her teeth. Between morning and night, Antonio and Crystel visited Spirit in one of her many hiding places.

    Dr. Rebecca made us feel good about our decision to let Spirit go. She pointed out the signs as Crystel lay nose to nose with Spirit. She told us about the sleepy drug that she would give Spirit and then the final injection that would stop her heart.

    Saying goodbye
    Saying goodbye

    I noticed that I was trying not to cry, but then I realized that wouldn’t help the children at all if I didn’t show that it was okay to cry. So I got a box of Kleenex and let my feelings eek out.  

    Crystel lifted her head. “Can I have one of Spirit’s whiskers?”

    “Let’s talk about that later, Crystel.” I said. I didn’t really have a problem with this but the cat wasn’t even dead yet. Seemed like we were getting a little ahead of ourselves.

    “Yes, let’s wait on that one, Crystel,” Jody said.

    Spirit’s heart had stopped beating before Jody, Antonio, and Crystel left for Tae Kwon Do but I assured them that she wouldn’t be buried until they got back.

    While they are gone, I continue to pet and brush Spirit until the warmth leaves her body.

    Spirit's brother Angel
    Spirit’s brother Angel

    When they return, I ask, “Antonio and Crystel, are you going to carry Spirit outside?”

    They negotiate how they are going to manipulate the cat bed out the patio door without dropping Spirit.

    Spirit still looks like herself. She isn’t cold. She isn’t stiff. She doesn’t look like a ghost or a cat skeleton.

    After placing Spirit in the hole, I ask, “Who wants to be first to shovel dirt on her?”

    “I do,” Crystel says.

    Tears and soil fall on Spirit.

    Because we didn’t rush Spirit into the ground, death was not scary for the children—especially, since they came home to find Mama Beth brushing a dead cat.   It wasn’t even necessary to give them a talk about how our spirits still lives after we die. They were living it.