WordSisters

Category: Change

  • Enlarging My Circle

    cactus-flower-2For years, my husband and sons visited relatives in Green Valley, a retirement community in Arizona. I loved seeing our family and experiencing spring in the desert. But I disliked the way some of the residents had become intolerant of young people and as prickly as the blooming cactus that surrounded us. I vowed that wouldn’t be me. While I was still working for pay, I didn’t have to think about how to make good on that promise. I had friends of all ages among my coworkers. Now that I’m retired, I want to be more intentional about connecting with younger people (younger than a Baby Boomer, that is).

    Though older, I’ll be the seeker, not the sage.

    I’ve learned so much from my sons, so I want to go further and invite more people of other generations into my life. I hope to learn from people who are at different stages of life from mine and understand how they see the world, what their challenges, reactions, and solutions are. To know what they know. To welcome their insights and wisdom.

    Making connections is part of my personal style.

    Networking is one way people connect with strangers and make friends of acquaintances. While I was a freelance writer, I networked for professional reasons. Often the connections I had with clients and colleagues sparked friendships that have lasted 5, 10, or 20 years.

    My plan is more of an outlook than a highly systematic effort.

    My current idea isn’t exactly “networking,” which implies a career emphasis. Instead, I hope to continue to do what I have always done—make and keep friends. The part that requires more focus is putting myself in settings where I will meet new people of all ages. Then, if we like the same things and have common interests, friendships will have the chance to blossom.

    For example, a young woman I know manages communications for a nonprofit. We met when I started volunteering there, and since then, we have become friendly.

    I recently reconnected with a younger writer who’s a friend’s daughter. The daughter is traveling in Europe and writing about her experiences. One of her blogs reminded me how I felt while traveling alone in Europe in my later 20’s, so I sent her a note. Currently, we are acquaintances, but I’m open to getting to know her better.

    One of the women who styles my hair is at least 20 years younger than I am, but we have discovered that we have similar taste in movies and politics. Recently, her family experienced a crisis, and it was comforting to her to see that I really understood her reactions—our temperaments are similar too.

    I value my longstanding friendships with people my age, but I hope to enlarge the circle to include friends of all ages.

  • A New Year Blessing

    This poem by Celtic poet John O’Donohue  has touched me each time I’ve seen it recently, so in that spirit, I’m sharing it with you–

    img_0214

    A New Year Blessing

    On the day when

    The weight deadens

    On your shoulders

    And you stumble,

    May the clay dance

    To balance you.

    And when your eyes

    Freeze behind

    The grey window

    And the ghost of loss

    Gets into you,

    May a flock of colours,

    Indigo, red, green

    And azure blue,

    Come to awaken in you

    A meadow of delight.

    When the canvas frays

    In the currach of thought

    And a stain of ocean

    Blackens beneath you,

    May there come across the waters

    A path of yellow moonlight

    To bring you safely home.

    May the nourishment of the earth be yours,

    May the clarity of light be yours,

    May the fluency of the ocean be yours,

    May the protection of the ancestors be yours.

    And so may a slow

    Wind work these words

    Of love around you,

    An invisible cloak

    To mind your life.

    © John O’Donohue

  • Change is Certain

    Crystel - Age 6. 2008
    Crystel – Age 6. 2008

    Whether it’s our kids growing up right before our eyes, the seasons changing, snow needing to be shoveled, or Christmas coming. It’s happening whether we embrace it or not.

    Change is certain in all that surrounds us. Work people coming and going. A new job, or a new assignment. People moving in or out of the neighborhood.

    I’ve decided to embrace change. It doesn’t mean that it is without tears.

    A couple of weeks ago, I learned that my boss was leaving for a new assignment within our corporation and would be returning to his home in Texas. Later that evening I cried. I was still crying in bed when Crystel ran upstairs to jump up and down on me. I explained to her that I was having a personal moment. That didn’t deter her exuberance. It gave her more fuel.

    I was crying because this boss was so healing for me. The company I worked with prior to this one was nothing short of terrible. It was a challenge to make it through each work day. I started laughing during the day because it was the best way to get through the hours. I became an observer of what was going on around me. For many reasons, I chose not to quit the job but to see how long I could last.

    Crystel - Age 14. 2016.
    Crystel – Age 14. 2016

    My goal became to keep my dignity, my truth, and to be proud of my actions, regardless of what was happening.

    It almost seemed like the company wanted me to quit. What I said to myself was, you people don’t know who you’re dealing with. Where I’ve been. Where I’ve gone. You could never make my work environment as bad as what I have lived through.

    My current job is all that that job wasn’t.

    By the time Crystel got done jumping up and down on me, I had decided to be thankful for the 1 ½ years I had with this boss. With that decision, I felt lighter, happy, and joyful. I went to work with a bounce in my step, and a smile on my face.

    If nothing else, change is certain.