You’re prettier than you know—and prettier than you’ll ever be again in your life—enjoy it!
Don’t be so afraid of trying new things and going after what you want—the worst thing that will happen is you won’t be good at something. So what! Quit waiting for your life to begin.
Mmmm, girl, careful. It’s OK to try new things, but don’t do anything stupid that could change your life forever. I know all about those crazy guys you hung around with and the wild parties you went to. You were lucky.
You were right to focus on your education and career—they took you further than anything else you could have done, and nobody can take them away from you. Women who trade on their looks are headed for a rude awakening when their looks fade, but your education and career will remain.
When it comes to finding a husband, it pays to shop around. Aren’t you glad you didn’t stay with Bob or Brad? Find out what really matters to you—like wanting similar things out of life and being a good team when it comes to raising kids and managing a household. Take your time getting to know the guy—if it’s a good thing, it will keep.
Your parents know more about life than you do and they truly want to help. You don’t have to do everything the hard way. Remember how they loaned you money for the car and the down payment on the house?
Money matters. Have some of your own and expect to support yourself. Having a career can be a great equalizer in a marriage.
When the notice of my 40th high school reunion arrived, my immediate reaction was, “This can’t possibly be right. I’m not THAT old.” But a little quick math (2012 – 1972 = 40 ?!?) told me it was true.
yeah, I’m afraid I really did have octagonal glasses . . .
And quick on the heels of that thought was, “Even if am that old, I have no wish to live in the past.”
But then I had a voicemail from the former class president—a really nice guy—somebody I’d always gotten along with. We weren’t that close, but I sensed we both yearned for something more out of life. I don’t know what he hoped for—but we recognized that in each other.
So that made me curious. As I recall, he was a runner and a good writer. What had he done with his life? That led to wondering about a few other people, and the Go/No Go debate was on.
I can think of a million reasons NOT to go. Here are four—
1. The reunion is in Ohio. I live in Minnesota.
2. I haven’t thought about high school or most of those people in years—why start now?
3. I have no desire to network with the insurance sales people or financial advisors in the group.
4. I don’t want to be squashed back into the shy insecure persona I had years ago just so I fit somebody’s memory of me.
And yet.
1. When I went to my 20th reunion, it was fun.
2. People seemed to remember my essential self—my best qualities—not how dorky I was.
3. They were kind. And genuinely pleased to see me . . . despite the prank I played with my profile in the memory book (The idea of bragging was distasteful to me, so I decided to be as outrageous as possible. I claimed to have won the Nobel Peace prize, to have married a rocket scientist, and to be raising two child prodigies. I assumed that description was so over-the-top that everyone would know I was joking. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case, so then I felt bad for mocking the profiles).
4. Certainly, after 40 years, we’ve all gotten over high school. No one cares any more about who was cool and who wasn’t. Now we’re all old (and therefore uncool).
Gawd, I sure hope we no longer have to prove anything to each other. Many of us wanted to be somebody, do something, make a mark. Did we? I don’t know, but I hope my classmates are at peace with whatever success (or lack of) they have.
Maybe I prefer to imagine that members of the class of 1972 at Central Catholic High School are content with their lives. I’m not sure I want to find out if some of them are still insecure and wearing their accomplishments like merit badges . . . .
After forty years, my classmates feel as I do: fond of some genuinely nice people I used to know.
What do you think—Should I go? Or not? Let me know!
If your 40th reunion is looming out there in the future, will you go?
Amazing But Good
Today, the Star Tribune reported, “Minnesota’s biggest Boy Scout group said that gays and lesbians remain welcome in its troops.” I applaud the Northern Star Council, which represents 75,000 Boy Scouts in Minnesota and western Wisconsin, for their inclusive stance—a position that bucks the national Boy Scouts of America policy banning openly homosexual people from participating in the Boy Scouts. See my June 21st blog, “A Parental Dilemma” for more on this topic.
Molly Watters, first female drum major for the University of Minnesota Marching Band, 2006
by Ellen
. . . My friend Marilyn was able to study auto repair at a community college and work as a mechanic at Sears, because she needed a job that paid well.
. . . My niece Katie was offered a scholarship to pole-vault on a college track and field team, something that was unheard of in 1972, when I was a high school senior.
. . . My son Greg was able to meet his girlfriend in the University of Minnesota Marching Band last year. Until 1972, young women weren’t allowed in the U of M’s marching band. In 2006, they had their first drum major (shown above).
Because of Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 (sometimes known as the Equal Opportunity in Education Act), millions of young women—and young men—have equal access to educational programs and activities:
No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving federal financial assistance.
The simplicity of the statute is deceptive, but the effects are far-reaching. And surprisingly, there isn’t a word about access to athletics, though that’s what Title IX is best known for.
Besides sports, Title IX also covers access to higher education, career education, education for pregnant and parenting students (remember when girls were kicked out of school if they were pregnant?), employment, learning environment, math and science, sexual harassment, standardized testing and technology.
Because of Title IX . . . women of my era had more opportunities, and now so do our sons and daughters.
There are numerous famous examples Title IX’s effects:
Past U.S. Olympic champions like Mia Hamm, Jackie Joyner Kersee, and Lindsay Vonn
The women who are about to become medalists later this month in the 2012 Summer Olympics
But just as important are everyday examples of Title IX’s effects:
Half of the young doctors hired last year at the hospital where I work are women—neurosurgeons, neurologists, and orthopedic surgeons (including one who was also an Air Force fighter pilot). In 1970, about 10 percent of all medical students were women.
My sons learned to cook and sew in a high school class called Family Life, but they wouldn’t have been allowed in home economics class in 1972.
Because of Title IX, it is no longer remarkable that women are doctors, lawyers, professors, architects, engineers, software programmers, members of the military, business owners and more.
And that, for me, is remarkable.
I was one of thousands of women who entered the professional workforce in 1979, when the world was changing rapidly. My unpublished memoir COLETTE’S LEGACY traces my personal and professional coming-of-age and puts a personal face on the social changes that transformed a generation.
