WordSisters

Author: Ellen Shriner

  • A Cautionary Tale: How does a beloved friend and aunt fall off the face of the earth?

    My Aunt Corinne was someone who stayed in touch with dozens of people. She had 18 nieces and nephews and a similar number of grand nieces and nephews. She had three lifelong friends and approximately 10 good buddies from the various groups she participated in. She sent birthday, holiday, and thank you cards to all of them. Her photo albums were filled with meticulous notes—names, dates, and locations. She was serious about keeping up with people.

    Aunt CorinneYet when my siblings and I were planning her funeral, we were thwarted in our efforts to notify her friends and in-laws. We didn’t have her address book, and we didn’t know the last names of some of the key people in her life. Uncle Bob, her husband, had been dead for 15 years. We’d never met his relatives.

    The breakdown in communication occurred over the course of several years.

    Her address book got lost when she moved from her assisted living apartment into a nursing home. My siblings and I didn’t know it was gone or even think to ask about it. We assumed she kept in touch with the people who mattered to her.

    The problem was compounded when the apartment management couldn’t or wouldn’t tell Aunt Corinne’s in-laws and the nieces and nephews from that side of the family what nursing home she had gone to.

    Aunt Corinne lost the drive to manage the details of her life.

    She was still lucid, but her world had shrunk to a bed in the room she shared with another nursing home resident. She simply didn’t have the emotional energy and mental focus to reach out to family and friends or to ask us to do it for her. We wondered why she didn’t have more visitors and why more of her many nieces and nephews didn’t get involved with her care. But we didn’t want to be judgmental or make her feel bad by asking, so we shrugged off our questions.

    Someone at the church Aunt Corinne attended heard about her death and told her circle of friends, so half a dozen of them came. Eventually we tracked down the names of Aunt Corinne’s in-laws and they spread the word. A few more friends and former coworkers read about her funeral in the newspaper. We were relieved that nearly 30 people were on hand to remember this special lady who always made a point of remembering them.

    Losing touch is easier (and therefore, more troubling) than I ever thought possible.

    When I consider the many ways I stay in contact with friends and family members—phone calls, texting, emailing, social media, Skype, snail mail—it seems astonishing that anyone could drop off the radar. Most people associate accidentally losing contact and being unable to find friends and family as the sort of dilemma that could only happen to refugees who are separated because of war or a natural disaster. But Aunt Corinne lost many of her connections because of a series of small mishaps and unasked questions.

    Well-intentioned people lose touch even when they’re trying. It isn’t that hard.

  • Summer’s Over

    Late August in Minnesota has a distinct feeling . . . and sound. By day, the cicadas are buzzing. At night, the crickets are a symphony. Sunrise is at 6:30 a.m., sunset is at 8:00 p.m., and I can feel the dark months coming, stealing the edges of each day.

    For the kids, summer is already over. Each year I’m grateful I’m no longer a student or a teacher. For me, Labor Day is like New Year’s – a time to start a new habit and settle into a new pattern.

    I miss the early mornings when the air is still cool and the grass and flowers are still dewy before the heat of the day blankets us. I miss the balmy summer nights when little breezes stir to keep the porch from being oppressively hot.

    But autumn has its compensations—

    Idyllic days with blue skies and perfect 78-degree temperatures.blue skies & garden

     

     

     

     

     

    State Fair excess (Sweet Martha’s melty chocolate chip cookies, corn and blue cheese fritters—crispy, greasy and delicious).

    Sweet martha's

     

     

     

     

    Farmer’s market bounty: eggplants, peppers, heirloom tomatoes, zucchini, and sweet corn. And apples are already ripening!

    Eggplant&Peppers

    Cool nights when you can sleep under a light blanket with the windows open.

    What do you love/hate about autumn?

  • Tried-and-True Approaches for the Time-strapped Writer

    The WordSisters have been invited to participate in another blog tour about writing processes, this time by novelist Cynthia Kraack, author of MINNESOTA COLD and the Ashwood Trilogy. She just released the final book in the series, LEAVING ASHWOOD. To learn more about her books and blog, visit cynthiakraack.com.

    When asked about my writing process, I’m often baffled—writing processes are as individual as the writers in question—will my process really be helpful to others? But many writers struggle with the first step in the writing process—finding time to write, so I’m offering some suggestions.

    Never give up

    Finding Time to Write Your Blog, Novel, Memoir or Poems

    Our creative writing competes with work, family, or household responsibilities. It’s easy to get discouraged and think, “How will I ever get this project finished? If only I had a week/month/year off. And a wealthy patron.” Here are several tried-and-true approaches for the time-strapped writer:

    • Every day, set a timer and write for 20 minutes. When I heard about this method, I was skeptical—20 minutes doesn’t sound like enough time to do anything substantial! But Jill, a member of my nonfiction writers’ group (and the person who gave WordSisters our name), takes this approach and drafted a novel over the course of a year—20 minutes at a time. Even if you skip a day, the writing time adds up to 2 hours per week.
    • Set aside 2 hours every week for writing. I wrote the first draft of my memoir in 2-hour hunks every Saturday over the course of a year. For my blogs, I usually allow 2-3 hours within a two-week span. I draft a blog in one sitting and revise it another time or two after that. Oh yeah, because my writing time is so precious, I’ve learned to turn off my email and cell phone while I’m writing—amazing how much more I get done without any distractions. The world can wait!
    • Write while traveling. I recently connected with Dan von der Embse, a poet who frequently travels and uses his inflight time to write.

    What’s common to all of these approaches is that although the available time is limited, each writer is committed to writing and has created a significant body of work by using the time she or he did have.

    Eliza Waters blends writing with exquisite nature photography, and her blog is the next stop on this tour. Through her words and photos, she offers readers a breath of fresh air as well as insightful commentary. Be sure to check out her blog!

    Finding Time to Promote Your Blog

    While I’ve acquired the discipline to blog faithfully, I regularly wimp out when it comes to systematically attracting new readers to the blog. I’m uncertain about what to do so I avoid doing anything. Great strategy, huh?

    Please share your wisdom! What has helped YOU find (or grow) your audience?

    Thanks!